Self Writing - "The Unhappy Customer"

Today at work a lady walked in and was upset about charges on her bill. I went to help her with finding out where the charges were coming from and what can be done about it. When I looked at the bill I saw the charges she was talking about, and knew that it was due to her using her phone in another country and incurring a lot of charges due to that usage. The customer said she did in fact take the phone out of the country, but never used it and therefore should not be required to pay for the charges, which were a substantial amount.

It seemed that the lady had already made up her mind about the charges being “unfair” and she made it clear that she would not be paying. I called in to the support center to see if anything can be done for the customer, but was informed that these charges came from direct use of the phone itself and that it was not possible for the system to have charged her unless the device itself was used, and if she did not make the full payment, she would incur late payment charges on top of what she already owed.

As I explained to the lady what the situation was and showed her on her bill where the charges came from and that she would have to pay, she became more upset and more clear in her decision to not pay for the charges and that we “take care of the problem” for her. I agreed to make another call and to see if there was any way to dispute the charges or have the customer pay only her regular rate while disputing the other charges – and again I was informed that there was no way to dispute these charges, and that in fact the device itself was used and thus the charges were justified, and she would have to pay the full amount.

She informed me that she was not satisfied with the way I 'handled' the situation and that she would be notifying my manager about this, and then spoke with my associate about my performance, holding to her claim that she should not have to pay for those charges. My associate gave her the same response and calmly explained the situation to her again and advised her to try calling into the corporation herself as the customer, since we have done what we could at the store level.

This was an interesting experience because I felt justified in 'sticking to the policy' – and in that moment I experienced myself as being 'right' and that I was 'standing my ground'. But within this experience is the hidden and subtle manipulation where I participated in wanting to 'win' and wanting the customer to admit that she is wrong, which is exactly what I judged the customer for doing to me and the company I work for.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience the energetic feeling of being 'right' and feeling righteous because the 'policy' and the 'company' are on 'my side', where I am allowing myself to exist in ego and superiority.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want validation and support from my coworker so that I can feel protected and secure within 'standing my ground' against an upset customer.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the customer as being unreasonable and unwilling to hear things unconditionally when I was actually doing the same thing, because I was not unconditionally listening to the customer and was rather more concerned with my own job and fearing that I would make a mistake or 'give in' to the customer's demands – and thus I allowed myself to stand in separation from that customer and from that moment, bracing myself and going into an energetic experience of superiority and righteousness in 'not giving in' to the customer.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to congratulate myself for having 'stood my ground' in 'dealing with' that customer.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am special for having an ability to 'deal with' customers who are upset.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from that customer as myself when 'dealing with her' instead of pushing myself to not go into reaction and judgment so that I can actually be here as her.

As the lady expressed herself and her dissatisfaction I knew that it had nothing to do with me personally – nothing is ever personal except to one's own ego.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, within my backchat, congratulate myself for how well I believed I handled the situation and for not going into or feeding further reactions as the lady became more upset and dissatisfied with me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to indulge in backchat that is just feeding and padding my own ego.

I stop. I realize that all backchat is of the mind and of consciousness and is simply a story that is being told in my mind that is actually keeping me from seeing what is here within clarity. Thus, I give myself the responsibility to not participate or feed my backchat as ego as self congratulation and righteousness.

I see and realize that when I am participating in self congratulation and righteousness I am in fact suppressing my own points of self pity and self inferiority – which makes the self congratulation, pride, and righteousness seem harder to resist because they balance out the other polarity and thus 'feels good'.

As I look at this more I see how ridiculous it is for such events to even be happening – it is all so unnecessary. Here we have a woman who may or may not have used her phone in another country and being charged for using the phone service in an area that is considered 'roaming' because it is outside of the calling area the company provides for. But why do we accept this? Why and how did this come to exist? Is it best for all that we have these restrictions upon mobile devices that are meant to help us communicate with each other? Again it comes back to the point of MONEY – and the current money system.

We are able to provide wireless internet and cellular communication all over the world – but the reason why such services are not in place for everyone to enjoy is because the starting point of those who are in control of the communications industry are doing it for profit, not benefit. And in order for there to be profit, there must be consumers who will may money for the services, and the money these consumers have is quite limited because of the current money system, so companies have to compete with each other to find ways to bring the best quality services for the best prices – which means instead of using all of the resources available and all of the infrastructure that is already here in ways that bring communications services to everyone in the world, these companies must instead focus on consumerism and profit.

And in the case of the lady who came into the store today, she is upset because she now has to either pay for a large sum of money for charges that she did not actually agree to, or have to face further penalties for not paying and trying to dispute the charges by claiming she never used her phone, with very little likelihood that the company will be willing to waive her charges. But again, why and how does this even happen and is it actually what we would want for ourselves?

These seemingly 'everyday' occurrences are not being questioned – and we are continuously accepting a state of affairs that makes absolutely no sense and is in fact driving us all backward into our own self destruction – we are not seeing how in every 'little thing' there is a line that can be traced to a starting point that is rooted in a system that does not in fact support life – which invariably leads to the money system as it currently exists.

What I mentioned here may see minor and trivial things – but then we blind ourselves to their origin and to their starting point and we fail to see that these trivial things are symptoms of a rampantly self destructive and merciless system, and those who currently benefit from having money in this world are blinded by our familiarity with and acceptance of it's 'everyday' flaws – to such a degree that we have allowed more than half of the total human population to fall into poverty as a direct result of our numbness.

This must stop. Incidents like these remind me of why an Equal Money System must be brought into this world while we still can – before these 'everyday' and seemingly trivial symptoms we experience in the parts of the world where there is money begin to resemble the symptoms currently being endured by those in parts of the world with no money at all. Let us turn this ship around with an Equal Money System.

"Home" Again

Coming “Home”

I am now living again with my mother and sister, back “home” after having spent many years “on my own” and having “my own way of living”.

It is fascinating because I was never actually living, nor was I actually on my own. My life had been primarily about trying to find 'stability', and in my search I did not consider that stability is not a place or some perfect circumstance that I must go out into the world and find.

Being here 'at home' is quite interesting. For a long while I have been dreading this point – I have been fearing having to “end up back here again” because when I initially left home many years ago it was because I couldn't stand it anymore – I could not stand living with my mother and I was building up a lot of anger, frustration, judgment, and definitely a lot of back-chat that led to an experience in which I simply had to leave or would have surely ended up doing something drastic or would have wanted to kill myself. At that time in my life I did not understand the point of emotions and feelings and what back-chat can do to a person if there is no method of 'checking-in' with self.

So, I left home, and I thought I would finally be free – I would finally be able to live my own life and be on my own. But when I look back I as not in fact ready – I simply went into a polarity manifestation as a result of all of the emotions and judgments I was carrying within myself – I was trying to run away from a situation that I felt powerless in, and I thought that by leaving it all behind I would be able to get a clean slate and start over.

What has ended up happening over the years is that I never actually faced all of the issues that led me to my 'decision' (I would say possession) to basically run a way from home one day. I allowed my frustration and fear to direct me and I ended up in situations that were not actually supportive or cool. I did not have sufficient self trust to actually stand up and support myself, and ended up becoming dependent on the help of friends who would assist me with getting me a place to stay while I tried to get 'on my feet'. Within this, I went from place to place, staying in various houses with various friends, living in garages or setting up a 'room' by hanging fabric in the corner of a living room, and sleeping on couches and computer chairs. All this time I was supported by my friends until I finally got a stable job and began to be able to afford paying rent – and finally getting a room for myself. But through all of this I was still searching for stability – still searching for that place or that perfect situation in which I would not have to worry again, and would be 'set' for the rest of my life – I never considered that the reason why my life remained so unstable was because I myself was constantly unstable – constantly unsatisfied, constantly afraid, constantly on the lookout for danger or warning signs indicating the possibility that my world would change and that I would have to change with it, or that my circumstances were not cool but I was 'stuck' where I was and did not have a 'way out', which was the exact same experience I would have back when I lived with my mother.

Now, about 8 years later, I find myself back “home”. Things did not work out for me as I had hoped – which is ironic because does anything ever work out the way we 'hope'? Hope itself is the very absence of action and self will.

There was a lot of reaction and frustration and anger within myself for 'having to end up back here' in seemingly the one place where I had defined myself as being 'unable to stand'. There are still points that I must direct and change, as points from the 'past' are here again, but as I push myself more and more to embrace what is here and realize that the stability and freedom that I have for so long been in search of, has always been HERE.

With the tools of self-writing and self-forgiveness as well as the desteni material and the ITD courses, I have been able to realize that I have existed as fear of loss and fear of change for a great portion of my life – in fact I would say ALL of my life – and what I am now seeing and realizing within this is that it does not in fact matter where I am, or who I am with, or what my living situation is – because what determines me and my experience of myself is what I accept and allow within myself.

Leaving the place where I used to live, which I had defined as a place that I was comfortable in, where I enjoyed the city and the people and the environment, and had created for myself the idea that I would finally be able to 'settle down', ending a relationship with another being that I had defined myself by, and moving back here to my current living situation seemed like the entire world had ended for me – as though I was completely lost and had utterly failed – had 'lost everything'.

But what have I actually lost? I have lost relationships that I had formed in my mind – I have lost the things that I attached value to in my attempt to find happiness and stability outside of myself. And now that these things are no longer a part of my life I see that the happiness and enjoyment that I had attached through those relationships were not real – and what I am left with here is the memories and experiences and thoughts I had participated in – which now seem ridiculous because if I hold on to them, I only create points of friction and resistance to the world in which I actually REALLY live in, as I disregard what is in fact HERE in my reality, in my environment, by trying to return to a “place” that I had built out of thoughts and feelings and pictures that exists only in my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the point of stability within trying to seek out situations and people that will support me in the idea and belief that stability is something that I must find and attain through relationships with others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am not able to stand as my own point of stability.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compromise my self-honesty, my self-trust, my self-worth, my self-respect within trying to manipulate my world and the relationships within it so that I can experience the point of 'stability' which I have separated myself from.

Now I live and apply a new definition for the word “stability”, which I had for so long been searching for outside of myself. I will no longer define “stability” as that which is outside of and separate from myself.

My new definition of stability – Stable Is Me.

Stability is me being here with myself, as myself, unchanging and undefined by relationships in my world. Stability is me unchanging as the world around me and the people around me might change.

Stability is me realizing and living the realization that who I am is not composed of the relationships I form in my mind in regards to the people and places that I encounter and co-exist with.

Stability is me not compromising myself or 'losing myself' for the sake of trying to hold onto or control a certain situation or relationship in my life because of a fear of loss or a fear of change, because I am here always, and can never 'lose' myself.

Stability is me realizing and living the realization that I, as stability, am here and that it only takes a moment of breath to bring myself back to me, no matter where I am or who I am with, and that I will never abandon or give up on myself as long as I breathe.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that who I am is based upon the relationships I am able to have with people and my environment in which I separate myself from the point of self enjoyment and self worth in the attempt to experience the energy of those relationships and thinking that such energy is who I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to 'lose' myself within definitions associated and attached to people, places, and preferences based either on positive associations or negative associations instead of realizing that I am HERE and that I am one and equal to all that is here in fact because we are all of the same substance, the same life force, and that the only thing that is separating myself from this point of equality is my own ego and consciousness, holding on to it's own networks of relationships, fearing to 'let go' and fearing to stop existing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear 'stopping existing'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to associate 'stopping existing' with fear and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that fear is real.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself by preferences and judgments in relationship to the places and the people in my world.

I stop. I am here. I let go of and stop reliving memories and experiences of the past and within this disregarding who I am HERE, in this present moment.

I let go of and stop wanting an ideal future, based on preferences and wanting to avoid my fears and resistances, instead of realizing that I am HERE and that whatever resistance or fear I have now, will not go away unless I stand up and face it HERE, NOW.

I stand. I continue. I am "home again"

Atheists - Your time to shine??

Why do atheists seldom become world leaders?

We live in a world that is dominated primarily by fear and distrust. In such an environment, we seek protection and salvation – we seek answers to why the world is the way it is. We seek some justification for all of the suffering that is apparent before us. We seek some sense of justice in a world that is exploitative and cruel. Thus many turn to religion – to “God” - in whatever form that “God” may take, so long as this belief allows a person to continue justifying and excusing what is going on in the world – so long as this “God” takes care of everything so that we do not have to.

Have a look at the very design of “world leaders” and political figures in general. The whole idea is the same principle behind “God” - making somebody else responsible for our problems and blaming them when things are not going well.

In the actual world we live in, politicians are put into office not because they are the correct candidate for the task of representing what is best for all, but because people do not want to take responsibility for themselves, and are often voted into such positions by those with a compatible belief in God, whom they have also made responsible for sorting things out so that we do not have to, and dole out punishment to people who 'break the rules'.

We see the kind of world that is created where those we place into the offices of greatest responsibility are often those who believe in “God” or have a strong affiliation to a religious organization. Instead of our leaders and trusted representatives seeing this world for what it is and thus able to deal with practical and effective solutions, we have people with a belief that ultimately there is a “plan” to things and that “God” will sort everything out – as well as toss out the troublemakers and confine them to eternal damnation. This leads to very dangerous territory – as the official has already made a prior arrangement with “God” and when it gets to be his turn, he is guaranteed access to “heaven” and therefore does not have an actual stake or interest in what is going on HERE on earth, so long as the politician plays 'by the rules' – whether it is the rules of law or the rules of God, the politician is “covered” and does not have to actually answer to the ONLY RULE that is relevant to this reality - “WHAT IS BEST FOR ALL”

Atheists – it is time to stand up and let go of the debate over God. The world is facing major problems that do not require belief – simply have a look around and it is clear for anyone to see – that things are NOT working – and that there will NOT be some magical event where suddenly all of mankind is redeemed. Instead of spending energy and time on trying to prove something that is already clearly evident, why not take the next step and DO SOMETHING about this world, within the realization that there is no god and it is up to us in each moment to decide what we will accept or allow?

Will we continue to allow those with delusional beliefs that do not actually take this physical reality into consideration - that lead to self-interest be the same people who represent us – whom we trust to take care of us? Will we continue to allow a world where suffering is justified? 

There are two solid solutions that I see to the issue of politics in general as well as the issue of people still holding on to the falsehood of religion and the concept of "God" in separation from what is HERE.  The first is the Equal Money system - in which the starting point of politics would no longer be chained by private sect tor profits and manipulation. Within such a system there would be actual accountability  and visibility because there would not be any fraud. The other solution is the Desteni I Process which explains in detail the design of the current human as well as gives deep and detailed feedback on how to assist ourselves and how to actually LIVE and stop existing within limitation so that we can stand up and make a real change.

Atheists – it is time to put your ability to see things for what they are to a greater purpose than debating people who are afraid of the dark. I dare you to investigate the Equal Money System and the Desteni I Process and I dare you to stand up and make a difference in a REAL way – and once and for all remove the idea from humanity requires some “God” before we simply do what is here and what is for all - within this, bringing Heaven HERE.

Equality Rant 30 Japanese Earthquake and Tsunami What can we do abou...

Equality Rant 20 - Human Nature and the Equal Money System

Why an Equal Money System? Every reason possible

MONEY – In sickness and in health, till death do us part.

In the world that I live in now there is NO escaping money. Even if I were to sell or give away all of my possessions and walk away from the entire matrix system of money and go off the grid, I am STILL subject to money because it is money that determines the quality of my entire environment. It is MONEY that will determine whether the off-grid location I will set up home at will have been damaged by pollution or whether attempts have been made to ensure that the area is able to support life. It is MONEY that will determine whether or not somebody may come along and simply buy out the land from underneath my feet because I do not own title or claim to the area. It is MONEY that will determine if the soil will be arable or whether it had been exposed to chemicals or simply has been rendered infertile through erosion of topsoil. It is MONEY that determines whether there is wildlife around me to hunt and feed from or whether the area had been rezoned for industrial or urban development. Thus my going 'off-grid' would not be an act of freedom – it would simply remain another form of enslavement to a system which has the ability to determine the quality of my life even if I walk away from it.

Every single facet of my life has been determined by money since before I was born. My mother would have required the money to get the care necessary to give birth to me. The staff at the hospital would have required money in order to have sustained themselves in this world enough to be able to get an education and become workers in the medical field. The medical industrial complex would have needed money to continue being able to pay those who work in hospitals and in research/development. The hospital itself would have needed access to funds in order to maintain facilities and staff, and all of this is just for me to be able to be delivered out of my mother's womb and into the hands of a doctor- let alone my actual experience of being alive upon my emergence into this world.

Had I been born to a family that had a lot of money, my life would be drastically different. This is true for every single human that is born on this planet. If one is born into a situation in which money is not in adequate supply, the quality of life for that child becomes greatly hindered by the availability of funds for that child's caretakers. And should no caretakers be around or should the money run out, the child's life expectancy drops dramatically.

Many have rightly surmised that money is the root of all evil – but fail to see the human hands that had engineered money to be what it is. Many have not seen that it is not money itself that is evil, but what we have collectively allowed to happen through money – having made money a commodity greater than life itself.

For myself, I see that EVERY single thought within me is influenced by money and my relationship to it in this world. EVERY desire I have, is linked to money. EVERY opinion I have about the world, is influenced by money. I have created myself to be personalities and fake faces in order to secure ways to get money and ways to remain acceptable within the matrix in order to support myself to be able to survive – yet within this survival I am not in any way ALIVE or self-directed. I am simply surviving and existing within enslavement. And this is true for all humans whether they are impoverished and living in squalor in the third-world (which in itself is absurd considering that we are at a stage of development where poverty is able to be wiped out and the same is true for aids and starvation) or whether they are living in luxury in an elite family. All humans are currently under complete hypnotic control and fear around the point of money.

Each time I want to do something, the first thought in my mind is 'can I afford it' – because if I spend too much money on something then I run the risk of not having enough money to buy survival. So there is a constant choice that must be made of whether I will buy survival or whether I will buy self-expression or entertainment. And it isn't just me. It is all human participants. We work jobs in order to get money, to buy things that we are trained and programmed to enjoy by those who require us to give them our money so that in turn they can survive and be able to buy goods of their own and while all of this is going on there is a class of people benefiting from all of the transactions while contributing nothing of actual value.

I cannot say with certainty what I would be doing if money were no longer an issue of survival. I have no idea what my self-expression would be in this world if I did not have to compete with others, do things I did not want to do in order to survive, and living in constant fear of death because the current system allows those without money to die.

In my life I have compromised myself, lied, cheated, stolen, manipulated, and exploited others all within the constant need for money not for my entertainment, but for my continued existence on this planet. It has become REQUIRED that humans cheat and deceive in order to exist – and this is NOT human nature. Yes there are aspects that are pre-programmed but this is NOT who we are and is NOT our 'natural' state. We have accepted and allowed ourselves to remain within this initial programming out of constant fear of death and having living in competition, scarcity, war, distrust, and dishonesty for centuries, but even so, we are able to change.

If I had been raised in a world in which the Equal Money System were in place – there would not be any fear within me of 'not being good enough'. There would be no sense in competing to 'better' another. The incentive would be the betterment of ALL. There would be no reason to deny anyone anything, because all are equally supported to be here and all are equally deserving of honor and dignity within their expression. There would be no crimes committed out of desperation. There would be no 'laziness' within people who had become fed up with a system that continually shuts them out and disregards them if they are not able to be exploited for their labor. I would live in a world where innovation and improvement would not be done for profit, but for the expansion of humanity and the improvement of the actual quality of life for all. I would be able to express myself, expand myself, explore myself along with all fellow humans and live in a world were there is no more fear or uncertainty.

Yet the EMS is not here yet. And those of us who see what it can bring, see it's full potential, and see that it is currently the only practical and effective way to sort out the problem of human existence on this planet to do whatever it takes within this lifetime to ensure that such a system is in place for all future generations – to be able to exist in real support and dignity.

I see clearly that there can be no other way to restore real value and meaning to life. I see clearly that any other economic solution would simply be putting a bandage over something that is terminally ill and must consume life in order to sustain itself.

Any talk of a resource based economy that does not take into consideration how deeply entrenched money is to the condition of the human is operating from a point of blindness and delusion. Any solution that does not address the fundamental problem of insurmountable debt, inequality, and the basic requirements that must be met in order for any human being to be able to live a dignified life are by design doomed to fail as we are seeing with the current systems of the world.

One day money WILL become irrelevant and we WILL be able to co-exist without needing to use money. But unless we establish and correct humanity's relationship to LIFE, and ensure that all beings have an opportunity to live within dignity and honor, we will need a money system based on equality as a transition step. We require a money system that supports ALL and is NOT tied to debt or profit.

An equal money system is the inevitable 'impossibility'. Many have not yet seen or truly understood how vital it is to have an equal money system in place within our lifetimes – they do not see that EVERYTHING hinges currently on an equal money system being established. There is not a single problem in the world today whether it is environmental damage, social decline/unrest, medical pandemics, geopolitical wars, or problems within human relationships with each other – that can be fixed or corrected in any meaningful or lasting way UNLESS we have established an equal money system.

And to do that we must BE the equal money system. We must prove by standing up within ourselves and sorting out all of the mess that we have accepted ourselves to exist as. We must begin with letting go of and taking responsibility for all that we have done to ourselves and to each other. We must forgive ourselves and forever STOP the pattern of abuse that we have participated in for centuries of time.

Yes, we will have to change human nature – by changing the nature of ourselves.

I stand within and as the commitment to ensure that equality is here in fact within my lifetime. I begin with purifying myself.