Love is NOT the "Answer"

When I look at the word “love” and how I have defined myself in relation to it, it is fascinating the memories and experiences that are associated with the word “love” and how much I have allowed myself to be shaped and influenced by that word.

The 'idea' that is sold in relation to love as I had understood it back when I was a child was that it is when you 'care about' somebody or something and that this is a 'special' experience between only you and whatever it is that you love, and that you are not 'complete' unless you love and are loved back by somebody – thus we are all on a journey to find this 'love' that will apparently make us better, make us whole, and will suddenly, magically, transform our lives and make us happy.

This of course comes from my earliest exposure to the idea of “love” which came first from my family, who would tell me that they 'love me' and then taught me to say the words 'I love you' back to them – though at the time I had no actual idea or conception of what these words even meant. At that age the words were simply words and for some reason the adults gave me positive reactions when I would say those words, and as if by magic those very words would trigger something in the adults and they would express themselves toward me in a way as though I gave them something that made them happy – even though it was the adults who would first teach me and then ask (sometimes demand) that I say it to them – so it was quite strange to simply accept this idea that saying these words meant so much and apparently had the power to affect the mood of the adults – though of course at that age I was vulnerable and trusted the adults and went along with the programming and never questioned it.

What is fascinating in looking at this is that throughout my life this point of 'love' would never actually be questioned to put to a practical test – it would always remain a truism that was taken for granted – that people apparently experience this thing called 'love' and that people who 'love' somebody apparently care for and tend to their 'loved one', but will only do this for the ones that they 'love' – so if a person does not 'love' you, they do not care about you and will not assist or support you. Thus “love is the answer” became yet another truism – because if people who love each other apparently care for and support each other, then obviously if everybody loved everybody then we would all care for and support each other and the world would not be such a messed up place. But if love is so obviously the 'answer' then why have we, for thousands of years, not done this already? Why have we failed to simply love each other and care for each other? Why have we NOT lived the message of Jesus when he said "Love thy neighbor as thy self"?

So then as I grew older this truism simply remained a part of my accepted view of this world and this reality – that apparently love is some powerful force and that if we simply love each other we will solve all of our problems – a point that was all too often confirmed and reiterated incessantly by movies, tv shows, children's stories, music, all the way down to the very social constructs of the society and family that I grew up in – always was the image of the lovers triumphing over evil – or those who do great and courageous things and find great strength because they love something. Though none of this really 'stuck' with me for very long – I would experience it as just a fleeting rush of energy and excitement as I would root for the heroes or the lovers of whatever movie or story I was allowing myself to be enterTRAINed by – but the energy would wear off and I would be back in the 'mundane' life where apparently there just wasn't enough love going around in the world and thus the world was often such a boring, confusing, complicated place.

It was only later as I entered my teen years that I would associate the images of 'lovers' and the idea of 'love' with pictures of men and women who come together and apparently 'fall in love' – which I associated with my budding interest in sex. And the more I associated those pictures of lovers and falling in love and kissing and embracing and living happy lives together – the more I associated my growing desire to experience and experiment with sex – because of course one needs to find a 'lover' in order to have sex – and thus the 'love' became a requirement – and thus began my initiation into the quest to find 'love' and relationships – so that I can experience the kissing, the touching, and the sex – oh yes, the sex that I had fantasized about and fixated upon through the various images and pictures on tv, magazines, movies, and stories that I would hear.

Suddenly 'love' became more valid – suddenly I 'got' why people would go to such lengths for 'love' – because really, deep down inside, I knew that 'love' would lead to sex – and all the butterflies and tingly warm feelings that were associated with 'love' were really, in self-honesty, about the desire to experience and have sex – which was apparently 'bad' and 'wrong' unless of course you are in 'love' and have a relationship with another so that you can generate those feelings of 'love' and thus care for and support one another – so that you can each ensure that you have access to sex – but of course I did not admit or confess this to anyone else – it remained my own 'secret' throughout the years of my life where I actually convinced myself to a large degree that the 'sex' wasn't important and that it was about the feelings of 'love' that I would experience whenever I found a potential sex partner – which is fascinating because I have never actually 'loved' somebody that I did not greatly want to have sex with – which should have been a clear indication of the self-manipulation I was participating in – but did not at that time have the self-honesty to see, nor did I want to.

Then began the many phases where I would try to change myself and 'better' myself for my partners because I was 'in love' and was afraid to lose that love and thus would compromise myself and lie to myself as well as to my partner all for the name of 'love' and keeping that 'love' going – generating those butterflies and warm tingly feelings so that I would have access to intimacy and sex, and whenever the sex would stop, the 'love' would stop, and I would suddenly 'fall out of love' with that partner.

So the whole concept and idea of 'love' is quite ridiculous. If love were the answer to the problems here on earth they why do we not love each other? Why can we not simply decide out of common sense to love each other and thus care for and support each other which is what we claim 'love' is about? Why can 'love' not actually be sustained and always peters out when the energy is gone or when the sex is no longer as exciting (or as frequent)?

If love is actually about caring for and supporting another person then why is it exclusive to only one person? Isn't it obvious that unless this world and this reality is equally cared for and supported, NOBODY is actually safe or cared for because there will always exist the inequality and abuse that undermines any illusion of safety, stability, or care that a person might experience at the expense of those we are excluded?

How can anyone say that they actually “love” somebody and say they actually care about the well being of another if they do not see or address the problems in this world? Thus this 'love' is a self-imposed illusion where the person believing themselves to be 'in love' or to be a 'lover' of something encloses themselves into their own private reality where apparently all that matters is their experience of love, and as long as they experience their private little love bubble, then surely the rest of the world – the rest of this entire reality – is of no concern – the rest of reality will simply need to find 'love' and all will be right. And when this 'love' experience comes to an end, no 'lover' has ever come forth in self-honesty to say to the world “Forgive me. I have neglected all of you and I have placed more value in my own desires for love and my experience of love than the actual, REAL needs of this world and this reality, and in my blindness I disregarded life.” - no, we do not see that point of self-honesty – instead we see “there's plenty of other fish in the sea”, “you just haven't found the right one”, “there is a soul-mate for everybody”, “don't worry – you will find the courage to love again”.

Thus I commit myself to stop participating in the fraud that 'love' has become in this world and this reality and expose it for the illusion that it is as well as the atrocities committed and allowed in it's name.

Self-Forgiveness on “Love”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see and consider that the idea of “love” is an illusion that is engrained into us as children firstly by our parents, who themselves were likewise engrained by those who came before them, and that the idea of 'love' has been a 'cover' to justify suffering and abuse on a world-wide scale by those who claim that 'love is the answer'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that “love” is some external force that is apparently able to set things right and establish a better world simply by participating in the idea of 'loving someone' as generating thoughts and pictures and energetic experiences about another person and becoming possessed by those thoughts and pictures and thus creating a separate and private reality in which one experiences this 'love' while nothing practical or real has been done in centuries of time to in fact establish a better world for all, where all are loved and cared for.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek and search for 'love' as though I require to experience the energetic feelings and experiences that come from 'being in love' as though such experiences come from something outside of myself, and within this to NOT see that I am simply manipulating myself and creating within myself the energies and experiences which I am separating myself from and allowing myself to become addicted to and thus go searching for it and being willing to compromise myself for it when all the while I am simply generating and feeding the desire to experience love and care and sex which I have not allowed myself to stand one and equal to within my own self-expression.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have listened to and allowed myself to be influenced and shaped by the advice and stories and impulsing from my family, from society, and especially from the media in which the idea of love is incessantly being pushed because 'love' has become something people have been trained to accept and want and need and thus 'love' is extremely profitable because people are willing to compromise themselves and do just about anything to experience 'love'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, when I was in relationships that were really in self-honesty only based on my desire to have sex, convince myself as well as attempt to convince my partners that I was in love and that I 'loved' them yet when the sex stopped being frequent or exciting enough, the 'love' experience would also stop, but I was not self-honest with myself and did not honor myself or my partner in revealing that the 'love' was not actually ever real to begin with, and to then set out on my search for my next 'love' so that I can once again experience sex.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to NOT slow down and see within self-honesty the self-manipulation that I allowed within the experience of 'falling in love' and searching for love with another, and thus to allow another being to 'fall' for the same trap of 'falling in love'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that famiLIES actually love one another when the reality of this world shows that famiLIES manipulated one another and do not in fact support each other within what is best for all but rather only sees to the self-interest of the 'family unit' and any professed 'love' that parents have for their children is used to control and condition the child into a slave for 'love', or is used as a manipulation tool for the parent to experience 'love' and 'appreciation' from their children because the parent has separated themselves from self-love and self-appreciation and will thus be willing to compromise the child in order to experience 'love' and 'appreciation'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that “love” was ever real or in any way a practical solution for this world when it is clear that unless all are equally cared for and supported in the best way possible, any idea of 'love' that claims to value or care for life is immediately invalidated by the plain fact that this world is NOT a reflection of the idea of 'love', but rather of separation and abuse.

Self-Corrective Statements

When and as I see or notice myself thinking or considering entering a relationship with another being based on a 'feeling' of sexual attraction or the idea of 'love' and that I may potentially be 'loved' by this being and thus cared for and supported, I immediately stop. I do not allow myself to participate and do not condone the illusion of 'love' as an energetic experience because I see and realize that it will only lead to self-compromise as well as the compromise of any being whom I allow myself to enter a relationship with from that starting point.

When and as I see or notice a being in my world advocating the idea of love as a solution I stand and do not allow myself to be influenced by those words and wherever possible I support the being to see and understand how that concept and idea of love is NOT in fact practical or self-honest and is responsible for mass atrocity in this world. I slow myself down and ensure that I do not speak from judgment or from a reaction as I expose this point and where I see I myself am not clear, I do not speak and I clear myself first and investigate where I am still holding onto the idea of 'love'.

When and as I see/notice the various advertisements and subliminal impulsing of the idea of 'love' whether it is in print, on a screen, in music, or in conversation with others, I flag the point and do not simply allow such impulsing to exist within me. I stop and see the impulsing for what it is and do not allow myself to be influenced or enticed by it because I see and realize it's impracticality and lack of self-honesty and that there exist entire industries created upon feeding and compounding within people the idea of 'love' because 'love' is extremely profitable and easy to market.

When and as I see/notice myself react to moments or impulses of 'love' as portrayed within the media I stop and I clear myself in that moment and realize that the portrayal of that moment has no actual basis in reality and again is a product for consumerism and consumption and cannot be trusted. I stop and do not allow myself to go into fear or resistance in facing that point nor do I allow myself to be influenced or manipulated by it.

When and as I see/notice myself speaking the word “love” either verbally or within myself in my own backchat, I stop and do not allow myself to continue with such statements. If I have said it out loud to another in conversation I correct myself and do not express the word 'love' in the context in which it currently exists in the world and ensure that I use the word in the actual practical context of the word, showing how it is currently not an equal and one expression of who we really are and what it is able to be if lived practically.

When and as I experience myself as being 'confronted' by beings in my world who are advocating or defending 'love' or when I experience myself being impulsed with the idea of 'love' through media, I stop and ensure that I do not go into reaction and antagonism to try and 'fight' the point or attempt to force my own perspective upon others and rather stand within and as the point of self-honesty and assess whether I am able to practically address the point through practical examples, understanding that those who will hear, will hear and those who cannot will face what they require to face until they are able to see for themselves, but in this I commit myself to stand and be, wherever possible, to the best of my ability, the practical living example of how to transform the idea and illusion of 'love' into a statement of actual care and actual practical support for LIFE.

When and as I see and notice a point of 'love' being used as a manipulation tactic by members of my family or those whom I may share a more intimate relationship/partnership with, I stop and do not allow 'love' to in any way be a factor of the relationship that is used to bargain or manipulate a situation.

Redefining the Word “Love” - How I Have Lived This Word

Throughout my life I have often used and lived the word love in the context of projecting an energetic feeling towards another person, where I would say “I love you” when really it was not the other persona that I loved or actually cared for, but rather how I would be able to experience myself and validate the character that I was projecting when that person was around – so I would say “I love you” and I would convince myself that I actually “loved' this person when really I was just infatuated with the energy and positively charged emotions that I would experience with that being.

Another way that I have lived and used this word love is to refer to some externalized and invisible 'force' like it is often portrayed in movies, where 'love' apparently conquers 'evil', or referring to anything 'good' as being 'of love' or 'of the energy of love'.

Defining the Word - “Love”

Dictionary Definitions -

1. a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.

2. a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.

3. sexual passion or desire.

4. a person toward whom love is felt; beloved person; sweetheart.

5. (used in direct address as a term of endearment, affection, or the like): Would you like to see a movie, love?

Wordplay - “Love”

I experience an interesting sensation when saying the word 'love' within myself – where if I slow down and really pronounce the word out, the word sounds more like 'loooove', where the 'o' in the word becomes stressed and the tone drops – like there is a sudden weight and pressure wherease the “L” and the “ve” part of the word are more stable in sound – not low and not high. This is fascinating because it is often how I have experienced love – where for a while things are just stable – and then 'love' as the experience for a moment produces a 'high' but then crashes into a 'low', and often the 'low' sticks around longer than the initial 'high' and then when the negative polarity of love is done, it returns back to 'normal' again.

Current/Mainstream Application of “Love”

We can see in the dictionary definitions of “love” how the experience is based on feelings, emotions, and 'personal experiences' that are projected upon another individual. What is not considered is that this “love” is never in fact an actual “love” of or for somebody else in fact, but rather is a relationship that is formed within one's own mind based upon a picture or idea about another person.

This kind of “love” is the manifestation and expression of self-separation, where self has gone seeking and searching for that which self has separated self from, which is what creates the 'relationship' because that relationship can only exist in separation and the experience of 'being loved' and 'being fulfilled' is coming from that relationship.

Thus we can 'love' people, events, colors, foods, and we can even 'love' ideas and believes and memories – all of it functions in the same basic principle of self existing in separation from whatever it is that is being 'loved' and thus forming a relationship to it within one's own mind and internal reality

Polarity Charges within the word “Love”

Positive/Good -

1. Feeling loved by somebody
2. Being “in love” with somebody
3. Believing that 'love' is a force that protects and nourishes that exist outside of ourselves
4. Loving other people by being kind or being positive
5. People demonstrating “love' by being kind and positive and caring about/for me.
6. Hearing another say “I love you” to me

Negative/Bad -

1. Feeling unloved by others, thus 'alone'.
2. Falling “out of love”
3. Losing a relationship in which I believed I was 'in love'

Redefining the Word “Love”

Love as an actual expression has not ever been truly lived in this world. Any expression of 'love' that is not an action of absolute care and consideration for all as one as equal is not the actual and practical, REAL expression of 'love' but only a relationship within one's mind in relation to something or someone else.

To actually and in fact care for another is to not accept or allow within the other anything that is less than who and what we are as LIFE, understanding that LIFE is one and equal – that what we accept within and as ourselves, we accept within and as all of existence – and thus if we only 'love' or assist/support specific persons and ignore others because we do not 'love' them, then we are not in fact living the practical expression/application of not allowing anything that is less than who we actually are, because we are NOT seeing or honoring the oneness and equality that we are.

To actually live and make real the word “LOVE” is to in fact intervene and do whatever is necessary to ensure that ALL LIFE is cared for and honored.

Thus love of self is to ensure that self does not accept or allow anything that compromises who we are, that self will do whatever it takes to intervene and ensure that self is living the greatest possible expression of self within what is best for all.

And likewise any love of another is where self steps in and intervenes and provides the necessary assistance no matter what to ensure that all life is able to self-realize and to not allow anything less than who we really are, in the understanding of oneness and equality where anything that we accept and allow within another, we accept and allow within ourselves – thus anything that we see another participating in that diminishes who they are, we are one and equal allowing ourselves to be diminished by.

New Definition of the Word “Love”

Thus to love is to intervene and ensure that 'love' is not a relationship in the mind, but an actual and practical application of doing whatever it takes for self and for anyone to be supported in the best way possible - to in fact, in the most practical and effective ways possible, do for ourselves and each other what we would like to receive.

ISOLATION - Am I Too Late? Am I shunned?

Here I open up the point of 'isolation', where I will place myself into a point of self-pity and seclude myself from participating effectively within my world due to believing that I have made a mistake and that it is 'too late' for me to adjust and correct myself, and due to not wanting to again face the point of 'failure' make the 'decision' to just give up entirely and give in to the experience of 'failure'.

This happens most often when I have set up a particular expectation or idea about myself or about a certain task or goal that I would like to accomplish but end up not living up to my own expectation of it and thus creating the experience of being disappointed with myself – because I had set an 'appointment' of when I expected a certain thing to be done and that appointment had been missed – thus I dis-appoint myself.

So when I create an idea and set up an expectation and an 'appointment' for when and how a certain task or goal is to be done and then end up not living up to the expectation or missing that appointment, or in the example of having made a decision to get a certain task done and ending up not doing that task, I become 'disappointed' with myself and become angry with myself because I feel as though I have 'failed myself' and thus cannot and will not trust myself, and if I cannot trust myself then it is very easy to become emotionally manipulative with myself and create the justification/excuse that I simply 'cannot be trusted' or that 'I cannot do this' or that it is simply 'too late' and there is nothing that can be done to correct my mistakes or live up to the original expectation that I had of myself, because apparently it is no longer 'worth doing' since I wasn't able to do it the way I pictured it in my mind.

When this happens the point of 'isolation' manifests where I stop participating in my world and do not simply pick up where I see I made the initial mistake but rather go into a self-defeat pattern where I simply give up on everything – not just the original task or goal, but actually say 'fuck it all' within myself and give in to the point of depression and self-sabotage, and the longer I allow this point of self-sabotage the more energy I give to the mind as the very design of self-sabotage, and the more difficult it becomes to stand up again.

Here a vital point is missed where I do not stop and simply have a look at what it is that I am holding on to and allowing to limit and constrict me and why I am allowing myself take the failure personally. because as soon as I allow myself to take the point of failure personally and thus become disappointed with myself, I do not see the opportunity to realize and correct what I am participating in, and also I miss the point of realizing that when I have an 'expectation' of myself I am already in a point of separation and my actions/decisions are thus motivated by energy – where I am trying to get to some point outside of myself and chasing after an energetic experience where I can be 'satisfied' with myself if I complete this certain task or goal, which implies that I am currently NOT satisfied with myself.

When my starting point for doing a task or working toward a certain goal is energy and wanting to have some kind of 'payoff' at the end where I feel better about myself, my movement is no longer a self-movement as myself, but rather a point of energetic addiction – and thus when I am not moving myself as self-direction, I am allowing myself to be motivated by energy, which is never sustainable and will always 'run out', which leaves me with the experience of 'suddenly' not having the motivation to do and complete the task or goal and finding it more difficult to move myself and direct myself effectively, because the energetic 'payoff' seems so far away, and seems like so much work, and fearing that I will not get to that point of 'payoff' where I can then feel better about myself I become angry and disappointed with myself instead.

It is fascinating really because then there is the experience of feeling as though I have been 'cheated' when really I have simply been dishonest with myself and thus 'cheated' myself by placing more value within the expectation of completing something than the actual self-movement of me within my decision to do something – thus the 'value' as the energetic payoff of 'feeling better' about myself became my motivation and already within that I have separated myself from self-movement which is HERE in each breath.

Thus I support myself within this point of going into 'isolation' where I am “so late” that I end up getting angry with myself for not keeping my own 'appointments' and thus become disappointed with myself, and to further justify the self-abusive pattern by 'giving up' and going into an emotional reaction of hopelessness and helplessness as self-dishonesty when really the solution is as simple as taking a single breath, bringing myself back HERE, forgiving the pattern and the 'failure' and let go of the expectation and energetic 'payoff' as the reward, and simply move myself and do what is required to be done in each moment.

Self-Forgiveness On “Isolation”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create and place value within getting certain tasks done or achieving certain goals as energetic rewards for me to 'feel better' about myself and thus make that energetic reward my motivation instead of moving myself without attachment to outcome or setting up 'appointments' as expectations which then lead to dis-appointment with myself when I experience myself as not having sufficient energy as motivation to get the task done.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see and realize how this very pattern of creating an energetic reward as my motivation to complete a task and to give up on myself and feel as though I have failed when I do not achieve the task or goal and thus go into the negative polarity experience of feeling 'low' and upset and frustrated with myself as a 'failure' is the EXACT same point that is playing out within the greater scale as the money system – where each day billions of people work themselves to a point of exhaustion and stress in order to get to the promised 'payoff' in the form of money – and those who do not receive sufficient pay will soon lose 'motivation' or will feel inadequate or inferior within irrational self-judgment and not see that when energy as emotional experiences of happiness or 'contentment' or energy as financial reward in the form of money are the starting point for ANYTHING that one does, one is not in fact moving as self-direction or self-expression and thus will eventually reach a point of 'crash' where one does not have enough energy/money to continue because both money and energy in this world are self-consuming and never sustainable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create value and attach emotional experiences of 'happiness' and 'self-contentment' within completing certain tasks or achieving certain goals and to NOT see within this how I am in fact setting myself up for the negative polarity experience when the energetic 'reward' dissipates and I am left with the opposite polarity of feeling unworthy and unsatisfied, as though I can never actually be satisfied – which would be true because as long as satisfaction is based on energy and not based on actual self-living as self-satisfaction, the 'experience' of satisfaction will always be fleeting and will always create the polarity experience of dissatisfaction.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become disappointed with myself when I do not accomplish a task or achieve a goal or live up to an expectation that I have set up for myself and to thus take the 'failure' personally and abuse myself within self-judgment that leads to me 'giving up' on myself because I blame myself for the 'mistake' and 'failure' when 'failure' does not in fact exist other than within the context of the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the experience of self-defeat and wanting to 'give up' and feeling as thought there is too much pressure and resistance to walk through is just as addictive as the experience of 'happiness' and 'contentment' for having accomplished something which I have given value to outside of myself – and thus it is just as easy to become addicted to failure as it is to becoming obsessive about success – and in fact the two points feed and compound each other as polarities of the same basic point – where I am not living and being the self-value and self-movement but rather allowing myself to be moved and motivated by addiction to energy – whether it is the energy of 'success' and creating the experience of 'happiness' within me, or the energy of 'failure' where I create the experience of 'disappointment'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be a slave to energy and to be taken on polarity shifts from happiness and self-contentment to depression and disappointment instead of standing stable within each breath and moving myself one breath at a time and aligning myself with the actual physical movement and participation of me, directing myself as my self-expression and not allowing myself to compromise my self-movement for energetic experiences of 'happiness' or addiction to the energy of self-judgment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, when and as I notice I have not done a task or achieved a goal to my satisfaction, abuse myself and give in to the energetic 'payoff' of 'failure' and throwing a tantrum and saying within myself 'fuck it' and for the rest of the day sinking into depression and distracting myself with entertainment or other stimulation to further feed and compound the experience of 'failure' which only strengthens the hold of the mind consciousness system.

Self Correction -

I commit myself to STOP beating myself up within my backchat and going into self-created experiences of disappointment and 'failure' when I do not live up to an expectation that was set up based on the energetic addictions of the mind by bringing myself back HERE when I notice myself going into a point of self-judgment or isolation where I want to say, or am already saying within me “fuck it all, I already fucked it up” and to STOP myself by letting go of my previous expectation and letting go of any ideas or beliefs about what I might 'get' as a reward for living up to the expectation of the mind because who I am as my self-expression and self-movement requires NO reward or motivation outside of myself.

I commit myself to move myself effectively within the tasks that I do and the commitments that I make by moving myself breath by breath and to adjust and correct myself accordingly within practical considerations of time and priorities and do not allow myself to give in to backchat or self-abuse if a point does not line up according to the demands of the mind because I simply breathe, let go, and start again from that breath as though that was the very first moment of a new commitment – and walk that new commitment until it is done.

I commit myself to align myself effectively within moving at the pace of breath – where I am not rushing or creating expectations projected into the future where I am already attached to a certain outcome or potential 'reward' and factoring those experiences as valid when in fact they are not here and I require to do the necessary work in order to manifest those outcomes.

I commit myself to stopping the pattern of i-so-late-tion where because I did not complete a task or achieve a certain goal that I have set within my mind I go into the excuse and backchat of “I'm so late” and thus it is 'too late' to do what I initially intended to do and thus I should just give up and 'spare myself' the further failure of trying to recover what has been apparently 'lost' when in fact there is no such thing as being 'too late' and I am at all times able to simply BREATHE and move myself again. 

I commit myself to stop fucking myself within seeing and realizing that when I allow the words "fuck it" to exist within me, I am the one who is being fucked within me giving in to and abdicating myself to the mind which will NOT be merciful or forgiving when I give into ideas and beliefs of failure and giving up - where whatever I allow myself to fuck myself with becomes compounded and thus more difficult to actual walk through and transcend.

Defining the Word “Isolation”

1. An act or instance of isolating.
2. the state of being isolated.
3. the complete separation from others of a person suffering from contagious or infectious disease; quarantine.
4. the separation of a nation from other nations by isolationism.

Root word - “Isolate”

1. To set or place apart; detach or separate so as to be alone.

Sounding of the Words “Isolation” “Isolate”

“I'm So Late, I'm Shunned”

“I'm So Late”

Here I see how I have lived the words 'isolation' and 'isolate' – where I detach and stop participating with the world – stop being a part of my actual environment and attempt to 'quarantine' myself away from others due to judging myself as being inferior and 'unworthy', where I attempt to hide myself from others due to the shame and fear of having to face the point of failure again if I do decide to stand up again.

Thus when the point of “I'm So Late” comes up as a reaction to failure and disappointment with myself, this pattern becomes triggered and instead of participating with the world and making the necessary corrections, I try to hide from the world because I am actually trying to hide from myself, and thus fear that if I do participate with the world the world may 'see' the fear and disappointment and self-judgment within me – hence the defense mechanism of isolation where I break away from the world and attempt to sort myself out or at least not 'infect' others while I impose my self-quarantine through self-judgment.

Redefining the word “Isolation”

How I will live and apply the word “Isolation” is when I see and notice myself experiencing being overwhelmed within the mind or going into points of stress, anxiety, or fearing to lose or face a possible point of 'failure' and not living up to a certain expectation or goal, I stop and ISOLATE the problem that I am facing so that I work through what is troubling me ONE POINT AT A TIME – thus I isolate the problems down to their actual components instead of trying to tackle them all at once and getting lose within the tangle of it all.

As I isolate the issues that I am facing to one by one direct and correct them, I stand as the solution before each individual point that I face – where I take what is causing conflict or friction or energetic fluctuations within me one point at a time, place the point before me, as me, and live the statement “I am the solution” instead of going into “isolation” of myself.

I commit myself to turning the moments that may lead to 'isolation' where I fail to slow down and work on what is actually here from moment to moment, breath by breath, point my point, I slow myself down and instead of becoming isolated by my unresolved issues, I isolate the issues and walk them one at a time – thus “I am Solution” instead of “Isolation”

Future Projections Are Science Fiction

Often I have made decisions about what I would like to be and become in my life, what I would like to 'experience' myself as, and would idealize these concepts and place them into an alternate dimension in my mind, in some possible future, where I have already done the necessary steps to make that decision a reality and begin to lose myself within that fantasy of an alternate future where I get to live the life of my dreams, and will create such vivid experiences for myself based only making myself feel happy or as a way to 'comfort' myself by projecting myself into that idealized world so that I am able to, for a moment, escape from my current reality where I see there are points that I am not satisfied with but have not directed myself effectively to change.

What happens is that this 'idealized' version of self assumes that I have already done the 'work' of what it will practically require in order for me to be and become that idea – that picture – and while I am generating energetic experiences for myself to feel happy and comfort myself with this projected future reality in which everything 'works out fine' and I am the 'ultimate winner', eventually the energy runs out and I am back HERE, where I have not in fact moved myself within directing what is currently in my life, and I become disappointed because what is actually HERE in my reality then seems so far from that alternate future reality that seemed so vivid, so 'real', because I had placed so much emphasis on the experience of it within me – where I made that experience 'more than' what is actually here and thus become disappointed when the illusion ends and I see that I am not yet THERE in that future dimension, which then seems even 'further away' or simply 'impossible' because it is in no way based on what is actually HERE and who I actually am at this very moment, in this very breath, in the current context of my placement within the world, my relationships, and my standing within myself.

These future projections of idealized selves are addictive because they serve as a 'promise' or a momentary 'taste' of the ending of a conflict or the resolution of a particular challenge in my life that I am currently facing or still trying to suppress, where 'if only' that alternate future were real, I would 'already' be 'done' with what I am now facing or still suppressing which is causing discomfort, conflict, and friction within my experience of myself because I see that I am being dishonest with me and not living my life to the fullest potential possible because I am holding on to fears and self-created limitations that I have not forgiven and walked through with actual, practical self-movement.

Thus future projections are actually a point of self-manipulation where I attempt to 'comfort myself' or give myself an essentially empty promise of a better 'future' where everything will be alright, so I do not need to fret or worry or concern myself with what is currently troubling me in my life, where I have not given proper direction, and to simply allow whatever is currently 'not working' in my life to continue since I am able to just project myself into an alternate dimension and experience myself as 'happy' and 'complete' and thus ignore and disregard what I require to do and give direction to within my actual living – not seeing or realizing that when I participate in such future projections I in fact diminish my ability to do what is required to be done and actually trap myself within not walking through the resistances and fears that are currently keeping me from actually, practically, living and expressing the life that I would truly want, where I give up on myself and the potential of what I am able to accomplish due to fear of failure or fear of rejection or fear that I cannot in fact manifest my desires because the desire itself is not based on what is best for all.

Identifying the Aspects of Future Projections

There are some different aspects of future projections that I notice as I look at this point and examine the various starting points that give rise to future projections -

1. “Fear of Failure” – Creating future realities in order to compensate and justify not moving myself because I have already made the 'decision' that I 'cannot' or am simply not willing to do what is necessary to be done.
2. “Impatience/Lack of Self-Trust” – Creating future projections because I have not developed the necessary discipline and patience to develop the necessary skills and create the necessary conditions to manifest a particular point, thus allowing self to give in to the idea that I am not able to trust myself commit myself to doing what it takes to get something done.
3. “Addiction to Instant Experience and Energy” – Creating future projections because I am able to experience 'instantly' the 'result' that I would like for myself, where I am only considering how I would like to experience myself within self-interest and not taking into consideration what it would take for me to really, in fact experience that point in my reality, where the 'reality' is not as exciting or stimulating as what I am able to generate and create within my mind – thus giving in to the addiction of energetic experiences that are able to happen 'instantly'.
4. “Magical Wishing” - Where I do not want to actually work or be diligent and instead 'wait' for life or the universe or some external force to simply give to me what I desire, so that I do not have to face any point of 'failure' or 'rejection' because I have made this future projection 'more important' and more 'valuable' than myself, and prefer to not risk 'messing it up' within lacking self-trust and self-value, which I place into this idea outside of myself that I secretly wish would just 'manifest' for me because I wish an desire for it so badly.

Self-Forgiveness on Future Projections

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create future idealized versions of myself, where I picture and create experiences of already being the things that I desire and currently exist in separation from, and project those points out into a future reality that is not in fact here, so that I am able to comfort and console myself and have something to 'look forward to' instead of being HERE with what is actually here in my current reality and working with what is here to step by step, breath by breath, undo the patterns and programming that do not assist or support me while establishing new foundations of self-honesty and self-trust as I walk myself to a point of self-perfection slowly but surely.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from that which I desire, which I then project outwards into the future as some goal that is outside of me that must be attained before I am able to be satisfied with myself, wherein I am constantly and continuously trying to manifest an 'ideal self' in an 'ideal future' based on pictures that are constantly changing and shifting according to the nature of my desires and self-interest as a response to me not in fact living my life HERE in the fullness and completeness that is already here, which I am simply not allowing myself to stand one and equal to/as.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize the silliness of beating myself up and doubting myself and sabotaging myself just because my current reality does not match up with a reality that I intentionally created as a fantasy in my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to NOT slow down and consider if it is actually worth the time and energy that I spend creating future projections, planning for future projections, trying to manifest those future projections, and putting off that which requires my direction and attention HERE in my actual daily living application in the hopes of being able to sort out my current problems by creating a better 'future' – not seeing or considering that any 'future' will only be a consequential outflow of who and what I am and what I am accepting and allowing within myself HERE, in this very moment of breath, and if I am not HERE directing what is HERE, then any future that may result will be one that is mis-directed because I did not take the time and opportunity to direct myself and missed the chance to direct me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I will only be happy, only be content, only be satisfied with myself if I am able to be and become the pictures that I create in my mind which are based on desires that I have separated myself from and to not stop and question WHERE and these desires come from and HOW I have separated myself from them to such an extent that I have been willing to put my actual living application HERE in each breath on hold, as I 'hold my breath' and wait for some ideal future reality to manifest while my actual life and living goes undirected.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deny myself the self-trust and self-will to step by step, breath by breath, develop and create the best possible version of myself in this life through patience and walking what requires to be walked practically and realize that it is in fact possible to change me and it is in fact possible to live and express me in ways that I have not allowed myself to before simply due to fear and separation and allowing myself to exist within the mind instead of living HERE.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place my trust within the mind's ability to create fictional realities through energy as thoughts, feelings, and emotions to generate 'experiences' within myself that never last and always leave me disappointed instead of developing Self-Trust within the surety and certainty of each breath that I take as a commitment and decision to myself – to honor and restore the stability and completeness of me as LIFE one breath, one point at a time.

Self-Corrective Statements/Commitments

I commit myself to, when and as I see/notice myself projecting into the future and creating a 'better experience' than what I am currently walking/facing, stop myself and realize that being in that alternate world will only prolong my process of walking and facing what is HERE and that the extent to which I am able to effectively work with and direct what is HERE, is the extent to which I can be certain that any potential 'future' that will develop from this present moment will be effective and in alignment with my commitment to re-establishing me within what is best for all.

I commit myself to, when and as I require to plan and make decisions in relation to my 'future', write out specifically the points to be considered in terms of what I am currently walking and facing in my actual reality and to move myself within the necessary actions and decisions that will in fact align me within what is best for all as the most effective placement of myself, wherein I do not allow my decisions to be influenced by desires or fears or future projections, but rather aligned to practical considerations.

I commit myself to bringing myself back here each and every time I notice myself projecting into a future projection where I am already experiencing some form of 'success' or 'completion' that is not in fact here as me as my actual reality and do not allow myself to linger or hold on to such projections because I see and realize that allowing myself to distract myself with such projections and 'waiting' for some kind of miracle to manifest for me my desires instead of moving and directing myself effectively in each moment and being my own point of self-creation.

I commit myself to stop projecting myself into alternate future realities in which I have already accomplished a task or achieved a certain goal or decision, or make ANY decisions based on such future projections and instead support myself within facing what is HERE so that I in fact walk through my points of resistance and fear, and PROVE to myself beyond any doubt or future projection/expectation of the mind that I in fact create me and direct my life – thus I do not require to project myself into an alternate reality/future in an attempt to 'find' or 'create' myself.

Redefining Words -

“Future Projection”

“Future”

1. Time that is to be or come hereafter.
2. Something that will exist or happen in time to come: The future is rooted in the past.
3. A condition, especially of success or failure, to come: Some people believe a gypsy can tell you your future.

“Projection”

1. An estimate or forecast of a future situation or trend based on a study of present ones.
2. The presentation of an image on a surface, esp. a movie screen.

Here I see that when these words are placed together, one can see the design of projecting into the movie screen of our minds the estimated future situations or trends based on one's current study of/understanding of the 'present'.

Herein the tendency and habit to project and create as the idea of our 'future' which is always based on what we currently see and understand as our 'present' – where we take what we currently live as knowledge and information and create our 'future' based on current understanding – already here we see the fear of simply living and letting go of knowledge and information – not allowing ourselves to exist as the simplicity that is always here and always needing to 'hold on to' our knowledge as our past, our memories, our 'experiences' as though such experiences are real or valid when even now, in this very breath, such experiences are not real – not solid – not existent in this reality other that in our own minds.

Thus 'future projection' in this context is the act of projecting and attempting to create as our 'future' and idea or belief of what will happen, based on the knowledge and information that we are existing as in the 'present' – or rather the 'now of consciousness'.

Sounding Words -

Future Pro-jection – Future Projected Actions – Actions that are not actually performed in reality, but rather projected as moving pictures in the screen of the mind that takes place in the 'future' like a science fiction film.

Redefining the Words “Future Projection” into a practical understanding -

Future Projections = For-Sure Projects in Action

A practical redefinition of the term “Future Projection” would be to consider instead of projecting our desired actions into the future as pictures in our minds, which would be us essentially creating 'science fiction' films about the 'future' to entertain ourselves with, to rather align our 'future' with certainty instead of 'possible projections'.

We can do this within standing AS the point of certainty, where we are 'for-sure' because we stop participating in any uncertainty or doubt within ourselves as to what we do and why/how we do it, so that we are sure that the result of our actions and accumulations will bring about a solution that is best for all.

In this way, the projections stop being pictures in the mind – and become PROJECTS in ACTION – where we are able to practically take on as projects the various aspects of our lives and of this existence that are not creating an experience that is best for all, where we can stop wondering what should be done about the situation and instead move ourselves practically and place ourselves into and as action to do what requires to be done, one step at a time as we sort out and participate in the greatest project that has ever been undertaken within existence – the establishment of Heaven on Earth.

Thus instead of allowing self to become trapped in science fiction pictures within the mind as 'future projections' of what would be 'cool' in some alternate reality 'future', we place ourselves HERE and bring HERE as for-sure projects that will in fact result in a world that is best for all in ways that previously were only considered in science fiction.

I commit myself to live as for-sure projects in action that which will bring about what we have all truly desired within what is best for all and to stop, forgive, and let go of 'future projections' that only exist in make-belief.

No Such Thing As "PURE Imagination”

A point that I have often placed value in throughout my life has been my ability to 'escape' into my imagination and believe that I was 'special' for being able to create vivid and 'wild' and 'robust' fantasy worlds and illusions and stories in my mind which I would find more meaningful and far more interesting and 'deep' than the actual world that is HERE.

As a child I would often be creating my own fantasy worlds, populating them with people and plots and intrigue between my imaginary cast of characters, and held an idea that I was 'destined' to be a great story teller because of how much 'depth' I thought I was putting into the richness of the stories that I would create in my mind. This point of going into my imagination and creating whole worlds and sweeping 'epic' stories and going into energetic and emotional reactions from the very stories that I myself was creating was an intoxicating experience – where I felt as though I was god and that I was creating something powerful – something that elevated and exalted me, when really I was simply addicted to the energetic and emotional charges that I would be able to drum up within myself in my mind.

The more I participated in adding more and more layers to my fantasy world, adding in more and more plots and twists and developing the characters in my mind, the more 'real' those imaginary worlds seemed, based on the amount of emotional energy that I would experience within the stories I was creating – where there would be moments in my day where I would 'tune in' to that imaginary world and get a 'rush' of excitement as I placed myself into the role of one of the lead characters and allow myself to be swept up into the story – and there I would live out and express the things that I feared to express in my 'normal life' in the context of my family and the nature of suppression that I had developed in my childhood where I had trained myself to suppress myself and maintain a control over my emotions and feelings which led to me trying to 'work out' my suppressed energies through my 'creative' mind as a way of 'releasing' the energy – but here I did not see or realize that by turning within myself and creating worlds into which I would 'charge myself up' with more emotional energies, I was in fact digging myself ever deeper into my mind and into my 'great imagination' instead of actually facing and walking through the points in my life where I was allowing myself to be directed by the mind, by the energies, and by the suppressed emotions and feelings that I did not understand and tried to control.

When I did sit down to write out and place into an actual writing the stories that I would create in my mind I would always get to a point of resistance, where I wanted to manifest the story as I had imagined it, with the emotions and energetic elements that I experienced and charged the story with, but would not be able to translate that experience into my writing, and here I would get frustrated with not being able to actually manifest in reality my 'great epic story' and would not be able to live out my idealized self-belief of my being a 'great storyteller'. Looking back now I see that I was so caught up in the story in my mind that I did not allow myself the patience and dedication and discipline to develop my skills within creative writing and within a point of ego wanted to simply 'manifest' everything instantly because that was how I had created it in my mind, which here created an initial false belief that I am somehow unable to write and unable to express that creativity through my writing. So having no 'outlet' for the 'great and epic' story that was building in my mind and not seeing the solution of LIVING and participating in my reality instead of settling for self-created worlds, I simply continued to be introverted and isolated myself from others, still not allowing myself to explore and express myself in my physical, practical world and preferring the 'solitude' of my 'private' inner mind. 

Thus the suppressed emotional energies, the reactions, the anger, the fear, and all of the charges that I would experience within me and would continually suppress rather thanexpress, became their own world inside of me, and while I thought I was being 'creative' and 'imaginative' what I had actually been doing was translating my internalized/suppressed experiences and frustrations and energetic highs and lows into stories in my mind – where I was simply taking what was already stored and compounded within me as energetic experiences and memories that accumulated throughout my childhood and compounding them and getting further addicted to the energy and emotions rather than releasing the actual points of suppression.

A moment of sarcastic common sense with Willy Wonka

Thus here I debunk and disassemble the self-belief that I have carried within myself in relation to believing that I was a 'great storyteller' and to believe that I was somehow 'gifted' with a 'great imagination' and to hold that belief about myself as a point of ego and to not look behind this self-belief and get to the actual point of separation – and see that there was nothing 'special' about the worlds that I created and that there was nothing 'epic' or 'grand' – but rather was simply me attempting to control and maintain and use the suppressed emotions and energies within me because I feared to actually live and express me in the real world, and thus relied more and more heavily on me creating worlds within myself through which to have the interactions, relationships, and experience myself in the ways that I wanted but knew would not be able to.

Self Forgiveness – Creating Stories as a Coping Mechanism

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, instead of developing real relationships and participating in my practical, physical world, instead turn my focus and attention inwards into my mind wherein I would create my own worlds and my own fictional relationships with which to interact and further define my experience of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, in my search for more energy and stimulation and not being able to find such energy and stimulation in the real relationships in my world due to the introverted and isolationist nature that I had developed within me where I lacked the social and communication skills to develop such relationships, instead turn within myself and thus create fictional worlds and characters in my own mind in order to get my energetic 'fix'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see and realize that participation in the mind within energy is extremely addictive and to have allowed myself to become addicted to the energy that I was able to experience within myself when participating in the mind through creating thoughts, pictures, stories, and allowing extensive backchat through which I would 'charge myself up' as the 'experience' of me within myself and within this to separate myself ever more from what is actually HERE as the physical reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, instead of participating directly in my physical reality within developing relationships, participating in activities with others, and getting  'out there into the world', rather focus on developing internalized relationships with myself in which I would further separate myself into compartments and alternate realities where through the years I developed relationships with alternate reality versions of people and personalities that I had created in my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see and realize the extent to which I have separated myself from other beings in my world through the extent to which I have isolated myself and allowed myself to delve further into my mind as my main point of interaction – where instead of interacting with this world and the people within it, I would instead interact with the worlds I would create within myself and the different voices/personalities that I would create in my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear letting go of the sense of 'power' that comes with being able to instantly create one's own world and be able to adopt any kind of 'personality' that one desires, within the 'privacy' of ones' mind and to not see the extent of separation that this causes within the beingness of oneself – wherein one is speaking to self within the mind using different 'voices' and energetic charges and allowing such conversations to become the primary point from which one makes decisions about one's life and one's relationship with the rest of the actual, physical world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see and realize the manifested consequences of me splintering myself into various and multiple versions of self existing in various and multiple dimensions in which different 'lives' and different personalities are created and stored as 'me' and thus to not have a stable and accountable point of SELF that is able to walk ONE LIFE effectively and fully, having split myself up into various components and 'minds' within me, each attempting to live out it's existence, and thus creating the experience within me of conflict and friction and the perceived 'inability' to remain focused and dedicated to ONE point and to walk that ONE point fully and in detail – where I allowed myself to simply believe that I am defective and simply 'not able' to function effectively instead of seeing that I have simply been trying to live out multiple versions of myself, in multiple dimensions and alternate realities, and within this not having made a single and clear decision as to who I am, and where I stand, thus not actually standing firm in any point in specific – where the lack of a constant and firm decision creates the backdoors and justifications to constantly 'give up' and 'get overwhelmed' and to remain within the limitation and acceptance of compromising me in my actual potential in this life – which then becomes the living statement of my self-acceptances – which becomes the actual 'example' that I am setting for the rest of existence.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compromise myself and the ability to stand and face whatever is HERE in my reality by becoming addicted to backchat and the preprogrammed thoughts and reactions and experiences within me, and to attempt to correct and 'fix' or justify how I experience myself in relation to my backchat by creating and participating in MORE backchat – where I create my own world and reality and fill it with people of my own creation with which to secretly 'act out' my actual desires and indulge in self-worship of my own ego and righteousness – where in my mind I am always right and always get the desired outcome that benefits me no matter who else might have to suffer – and to justify these thoughts and pictures because apparently 'nobody gets hurt' when I to this in the secrecy of my own mind – not taking any responsibility for the accumulation of such thoughts and backchat within me or the personality and ego and self-interest that develops from allowing such a point to exist within self.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear letting go of my secret worlds and the illusion of 'power and control' that I am apparently able to utilize within my mind by creating my own - worlds and realities through my imagination – not seeing or realizing that I have NEVER actually been 'in control' of even my own inner realities because ALL of the internalized worlds and relationships that I have created have been the result of accumulated backchat and emotional experiences that I have compounded throughout my childhood – and the nature of my internalized worlds and creations reflect this in every way – this I was never a creator but rather a 'compressor' of energies and experiences that were ALREADY present within me – where I was simply re-packaging and suppressing what was already here and thus could not actually have been 'my' creation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that it is even possible to create anything 'new' or 'original' within my mind as stories or alternate realities when the very foundation of my understanding and ability to perceive and process information has been absolutely defined and influenced by preprogramming and by that which was already HERE.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to NOT see and realize that I have sold myself and abdicated myself to energy within and as the mind wherein I have allowed myself to give up what is actually REAL and already HERE as the substance of life and the potential that is here within this reality for expression and expansion, and to have blinded myself and fooled myself into accepting a version of reality as determined by my mind and the preprogrammed relationships, thoughts, feelings, and emotions of the mind consciousness system.

Self-Realizations related to Creating Stories as a Coping Mechanism

1. Allowing myself to constantly and continuously participate in creating alternate realities and worlds within my mind instead of walking, breathing, and directing myself in the actual physical reality accumulates more and more self-separation and conflict in my world.
2. The conflict and friction that I experience in my world can be seen as a reflection of the conflict and friction that I experience within myself as the various dimensions and realities that I have created within me 'clash' due to me allowing the existence of alternate realities and dimensions that are not congruent or aligned and will seek it's own fulfillment without consideration of what is best for all.
3. The experience of apparently not being able to 'walk a single point' or to stick to principle and commitment within decisions is an outflow/consequence of me not making absolute commitments within self that are aligned in all dimensions in self – thus where I experience a conflict/friction/backchat or resistance or excuse/justification – it is an indication of where I am still holding on to an alternate dimension/secret agenda that I am not allowing myself to forgive and let go of which is compromising my commitments and decisions.
4. I have spend many years in accumulating backchat and emotional experiences which I have suppressed and then compounded into alternate realities within myself – thus it is not to judge or hold a grudge against myself but to see the origin point of what I had allowed myself to suppress and compound and to forgive and release that point and walk the correction of that point in my reality as I bring all dimensions HERE to the eye of the needle as I unify myself and align myself as ONE being, where my words, actions, and commitments are absolute in all dimensions of me.

Self – Correction on Creating Stories as a Coping Mechanism

When and as I see/notice myself experiencing a point of conflict/friction within my experience of self, I STOP the voice in my head and do not allow myself to participate in internal discussions that masquerade as 'self-introspection' and rather support myself to write the point out in a self-supportive manner instead of trying to win an argument with my own mind which will only create further self-separation.

When and as I see/notice myself 'lost' within a point of daydreaming/fantasy where I am not HERE and breathing and directing myself, I STOP and investigate the 'nature' or 'essence' of the daydream so that I am able to see where I am separating myself and where I am trying to create an experience in an alternate reality because of a point that I am not living/directing in my actual reality because I see and realize that the daydream/dimensional shift is NOT good or bad and is not to be judged or resisted or suppressed, but rather are indications of where I am attempting to create something that I desire using energy instead of seeing whether or not this point is able to stand within what is best for all and whether I will be able to bring this point to a practical point of manifestation in my life.

When I see/notice myself wanting to escape a point of responsibility or see/notice myself facing a point of resistance I STOP the voices in my head that attempt to 'talk' me into a decision that may compromise me and my point of self-honesty, and support myself to walk and apply myself within a decision that is best for all – where there can be no doubt or 'debate' as to whether or not my decision is one that is able to stand the test of time.

When I see/notice myself projecting into alternate realities in which I have an idealized relationship or event or circumstance that is not actually here in my reality, I STOP and realize that I am facing a point of separation where I am trying to create what is not HERE and am not allowing myself to walk the practical process of accumulation and discipline required to manifest and make REAL and establish within myself that which exists as a 'desire' that is separate from me, and to realize and understand that any picture or idea in my mind will always consist of energy and self-interest that does not take reality into consideration and therefore will not actually be able to manifest in this reality.

When I see/notice myself 'zoning out' or going into and as reactions and backchat in my mind instead of moving myself and directing myself, I STOP the voice in my head and do not try to fight or suppress the resistance or reaction. I stop and adjust and change what is able to be changed in one breath, and that which I cannot self-honestly change in one breath, I commit to accumulating the necessary breaths to slowly but surely change as the eventuality of me, and thus allow myself the necessary discipline and application and PATIENCE to walk my life to a point of self-perfection, realizing that it took many breaths to become who and what I currently am, and will take many breaths to undo these foundations.

Redefining the Word “Imagination”

1. the faculty of imagining,  or of forming mental images  or concepts of what is not actually present to the senses.

2. the action or process of forming such images  or concepts.

3. the product of imagining;  a conception or mental creation, often a baseless or fanciful one.

4. ability to face and resolve difficulties; resourcefulness: a job that requires imagination.

Here I see the word “imagination” as I have lived it – within the context of using imagination as a means to “create mental images or concepts of what is not actually present to the senses.”

Thus I have utilized the imagination like a magician, where I-am-a-magician and able to create clever illusions that distract and present a false assumption and presentation of reality, often employing what can appear to be 'magical' means that have no evident basis on actual reality or how it functions – thus creating an 'alternate' picture of reality presented as though it were 'real' without actually showing in detail the process through which such an illusion can be achieved because that would ruin the 'spell' that the magician uses to captivate and compel the audience.

Who I am within “Imagination” as “I'm a magician”

In my life I have utilized the point of being a 'magician' in my own mind where I am able to conjure up at will all kinds of illusions and distractions to keep myself occupied and distracted from actual reality, through my imagination.

Within this point of imagination I would exploit a desire for something that I have separated myself from – whether it is a particular relationship or a particular 'feeling' or experience which I believe would make me 'happy' – and will use that desire as the justification for me to temporarily suspend my disbelief and common sense so that I am able to accept an alternate version of reality and for a moment be able to experience that point of desire through 'magically' creating such an illusion using energy in my mind as thoughts, feelings, emotions, and 'imagination' – where I am both the magician and the audience, feeding off of the energy of me as the captive audience and turning that energy into the illusion that I craft as the magician/imagination.

Thus I see the here of how 'imagination' is often linked and associated with 'magic' and 'fantasy' – the 'imagination/i'm a magician' point exists in relationship with the point of 'fantasy' and the idea and belief of 'magic' where things are apparently able to just 'happen' without any regard for practical physical processes within the nature of actual reality and how as a child, I had allowed myself to create such points of 'magical' worlds within myself through my imagination – where the worlds seem to 'exist' in me without any substance or actual physical effort- not seeing that the energy to sustain and create such worlds comes directly from me as the physical essence of me.

Self-Forgiveness on the Word “Imagination” and association to “I'm a magician”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to utilize my imagination in the manner of a magician creating alternate realities and illusions which are presented as 'real', which I suspend my disbelief for in order to for a moment experience an escape from this reality when the truth and actual manifested nature of this reality cannot be escaped in any way and remains HERE while any illusion or alternate reality that is created of energy must eventually dissipate and fall and be revealed as the illusion that it is.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to associate the sense of 'magic' and 'wonder' and 'fantasy' to the word 'imagination' without considering the actual and practical consequences of allowing imagination to be part of ones ability to access what is actually here as the relationships which are created in the physical yet disregarded in the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that having a good 'imagination' is a skill or talent in and of itself without considering the long-term effects of participation in 'imagination' and the creation of concepts and ideas that are not in fact based on what is best for all in THIS REALITY but rather based upon personal interpretations and creations of alternate realities which ultimately always serve self-interest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in 'flights of fancy' and allow myself to be 'swept away' into the excitement of stories and the idea of magic and fantasy without seeing and realizing that in such moments I am allowing myself to deliberately indulge in feeding the mind and dulling my actual senses in the physical to practically observe and see what is in fact here, where I as the magician conjure and 'enchant' myself into delusional realities that do not support me to stand HERE and rather promise illusions that will inevitably burst as the temporary bubbles that they are.

New Definition of the Word - “Imagination” → “Image and Likeness in Action”

Thus the “imagination” must be the actual “Image and Likeness in Action”, where just as a magician is able to create by understanding certain principles and relationships and manipulating/directing those principles and relationships to achieve a desired effect, we are able to utilize the same function in a practical way that supports who we all are in the walking of our process of returning to the PHYSICAL and taking back our authority and directive responsibility as the Creator, where we as the Image and Likeness of the Creator can use our “Imagination” as the “Image and Likeness in Action” - where through actual and practical ACTION we direct the principles and relationships of this reality to achieve a result that is best for all as our Creation.

We are able to, through understanding the principles of creation in this practical reality, manifest and create that which is not yet here and not yet manifest as our creation, understanding that only that which is best for all in all ways and does not harm or lead to separation or abuse, will be able to stand the test of time and thus anything that is not in alignment within what is best for all will not be able to sustain itself and will eventually fall.

In our role and responsibility as creators of this reality we are able to see that which would be best for all through self-honestly taking all into consideration as one and equal expressions of ourselves, and we are able to determine what is currently here that does not support the creation of a heaven on earth, and we are also able to see and determine what is required to be here as the infrastructure and placement that will enable the creation of a world that is best for all – and though such a world can only exist as an 'image' for the moment because it is not yet here, we put that image into the action of self-creation – through our own living actions which accumulate to a result that is mathematically equated to what is best for all.

Thus imagination is the faculty of seeing clearly as the 'image' of what is best for all and is not yet here in our practical senses, and to bring that image to action in the physical, where imagination = image and likeness of the creator in action – slowly but surely bringing HERE what exists for the moment as an 'image' of oneness and equality.