Future Projections Are Science Fiction

Often I have made decisions about what I would like to be and become in my life, what I would like to 'experience' myself as, and would idealize these concepts and place them into an alternate dimension in my mind, in some possible future, where I have already done the necessary steps to make that decision a reality and begin to lose myself within that fantasy of an alternate future where I get to live the life of my dreams, and will create such vivid experiences for myself based only making myself feel happy or as a way to 'comfort' myself by projecting myself into that idealized world so that I am able to, for a moment, escape from my current reality where I see there are points that I am not satisfied with but have not directed myself effectively to change.

What happens is that this 'idealized' version of self assumes that I have already done the 'work' of what it will practically require in order for me to be and become that idea – that picture – and while I am generating energetic experiences for myself to feel happy and comfort myself with this projected future reality in which everything 'works out fine' and I am the 'ultimate winner', eventually the energy runs out and I am back HERE, where I have not in fact moved myself within directing what is currently in my life, and I become disappointed because what is actually HERE in my reality then seems so far from that alternate future reality that seemed so vivid, so 'real', because I had placed so much emphasis on the experience of it within me – where I made that experience 'more than' what is actually here and thus become disappointed when the illusion ends and I see that I am not yet THERE in that future dimension, which then seems even 'further away' or simply 'impossible' because it is in no way based on what is actually HERE and who I actually am at this very moment, in this very breath, in the current context of my placement within the world, my relationships, and my standing within myself.

These future projections of idealized selves are addictive because they serve as a 'promise' or a momentary 'taste' of the ending of a conflict or the resolution of a particular challenge in my life that I am currently facing or still trying to suppress, where 'if only' that alternate future were real, I would 'already' be 'done' with what I am now facing or still suppressing which is causing discomfort, conflict, and friction within my experience of myself because I see that I am being dishonest with me and not living my life to the fullest potential possible because I am holding on to fears and self-created limitations that I have not forgiven and walked through with actual, practical self-movement.

Thus future projections are actually a point of self-manipulation where I attempt to 'comfort myself' or give myself an essentially empty promise of a better 'future' where everything will be alright, so I do not need to fret or worry or concern myself with what is currently troubling me in my life, where I have not given proper direction, and to simply allow whatever is currently 'not working' in my life to continue since I am able to just project myself into an alternate dimension and experience myself as 'happy' and 'complete' and thus ignore and disregard what I require to do and give direction to within my actual living – not seeing or realizing that when I participate in such future projections I in fact diminish my ability to do what is required to be done and actually trap myself within not walking through the resistances and fears that are currently keeping me from actually, practically, living and expressing the life that I would truly want, where I give up on myself and the potential of what I am able to accomplish due to fear of failure or fear of rejection or fear that I cannot in fact manifest my desires because the desire itself is not based on what is best for all.

Identifying the Aspects of Future Projections

There are some different aspects of future projections that I notice as I look at this point and examine the various starting points that give rise to future projections -

1. “Fear of Failure” – Creating future realities in order to compensate and justify not moving myself because I have already made the 'decision' that I 'cannot' or am simply not willing to do what is necessary to be done.
2. “Impatience/Lack of Self-Trust” – Creating future projections because I have not developed the necessary discipline and patience to develop the necessary skills and create the necessary conditions to manifest a particular point, thus allowing self to give in to the idea that I am not able to trust myself commit myself to doing what it takes to get something done.
3. “Addiction to Instant Experience and Energy” – Creating future projections because I am able to experience 'instantly' the 'result' that I would like for myself, where I am only considering how I would like to experience myself within self-interest and not taking into consideration what it would take for me to really, in fact experience that point in my reality, where the 'reality' is not as exciting or stimulating as what I am able to generate and create within my mind – thus giving in to the addiction of energetic experiences that are able to happen 'instantly'.
4. “Magical Wishing” - Where I do not want to actually work or be diligent and instead 'wait' for life or the universe or some external force to simply give to me what I desire, so that I do not have to face any point of 'failure' or 'rejection' because I have made this future projection 'more important' and more 'valuable' than myself, and prefer to not risk 'messing it up' within lacking self-trust and self-value, which I place into this idea outside of myself that I secretly wish would just 'manifest' for me because I wish an desire for it so badly.

Self-Forgiveness on Future Projections

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create future idealized versions of myself, where I picture and create experiences of already being the things that I desire and currently exist in separation from, and project those points out into a future reality that is not in fact here, so that I am able to comfort and console myself and have something to 'look forward to' instead of being HERE with what is actually here in my current reality and working with what is here to step by step, breath by breath, undo the patterns and programming that do not assist or support me while establishing new foundations of self-honesty and self-trust as I walk myself to a point of self-perfection slowly but surely.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from that which I desire, which I then project outwards into the future as some goal that is outside of me that must be attained before I am able to be satisfied with myself, wherein I am constantly and continuously trying to manifest an 'ideal self' in an 'ideal future' based on pictures that are constantly changing and shifting according to the nature of my desires and self-interest as a response to me not in fact living my life HERE in the fullness and completeness that is already here, which I am simply not allowing myself to stand one and equal to/as.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize the silliness of beating myself up and doubting myself and sabotaging myself just because my current reality does not match up with a reality that I intentionally created as a fantasy in my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to NOT slow down and consider if it is actually worth the time and energy that I spend creating future projections, planning for future projections, trying to manifest those future projections, and putting off that which requires my direction and attention HERE in my actual daily living application in the hopes of being able to sort out my current problems by creating a better 'future' – not seeing or considering that any 'future' will only be a consequential outflow of who and what I am and what I am accepting and allowing within myself HERE, in this very moment of breath, and if I am not HERE directing what is HERE, then any future that may result will be one that is mis-directed because I did not take the time and opportunity to direct myself and missed the chance to direct me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I will only be happy, only be content, only be satisfied with myself if I am able to be and become the pictures that I create in my mind which are based on desires that I have separated myself from and to not stop and question WHERE and these desires come from and HOW I have separated myself from them to such an extent that I have been willing to put my actual living application HERE in each breath on hold, as I 'hold my breath' and wait for some ideal future reality to manifest while my actual life and living goes undirected.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deny myself the self-trust and self-will to step by step, breath by breath, develop and create the best possible version of myself in this life through patience and walking what requires to be walked practically and realize that it is in fact possible to change me and it is in fact possible to live and express me in ways that I have not allowed myself to before simply due to fear and separation and allowing myself to exist within the mind instead of living HERE.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place my trust within the mind's ability to create fictional realities through energy as thoughts, feelings, and emotions to generate 'experiences' within myself that never last and always leave me disappointed instead of developing Self-Trust within the surety and certainty of each breath that I take as a commitment and decision to myself – to honor and restore the stability and completeness of me as LIFE one breath, one point at a time.

Self-Corrective Statements/Commitments

I commit myself to, when and as I see/notice myself projecting into the future and creating a 'better experience' than what I am currently walking/facing, stop myself and realize that being in that alternate world will only prolong my process of walking and facing what is HERE and that the extent to which I am able to effectively work with and direct what is HERE, is the extent to which I can be certain that any potential 'future' that will develop from this present moment will be effective and in alignment with my commitment to re-establishing me within what is best for all.

I commit myself to, when and as I require to plan and make decisions in relation to my 'future', write out specifically the points to be considered in terms of what I am currently walking and facing in my actual reality and to move myself within the necessary actions and decisions that will in fact align me within what is best for all as the most effective placement of myself, wherein I do not allow my decisions to be influenced by desires or fears or future projections, but rather aligned to practical considerations.

I commit myself to bringing myself back here each and every time I notice myself projecting into a future projection where I am already experiencing some form of 'success' or 'completion' that is not in fact here as me as my actual reality and do not allow myself to linger or hold on to such projections because I see and realize that allowing myself to distract myself with such projections and 'waiting' for some kind of miracle to manifest for me my desires instead of moving and directing myself effectively in each moment and being my own point of self-creation.

I commit myself to stop projecting myself into alternate future realities in which I have already accomplished a task or achieved a certain goal or decision, or make ANY decisions based on such future projections and instead support myself within facing what is HERE so that I in fact walk through my points of resistance and fear, and PROVE to myself beyond any doubt or future projection/expectation of the mind that I in fact create me and direct my life – thus I do not require to project myself into an alternate reality/future in an attempt to 'find' or 'create' myself.

Redefining Words -

“Future Projection”

“Future”

1. Time that is to be or come hereafter.
2. Something that will exist or happen in time to come: The future is rooted in the past.
3. A condition, especially of success or failure, to come: Some people believe a gypsy can tell you your future.

“Projection”

1. An estimate or forecast of a future situation or trend based on a study of present ones.
2. The presentation of an image on a surface, esp. a movie screen.

Here I see that when these words are placed together, one can see the design of projecting into the movie screen of our minds the estimated future situations or trends based on one's current study of/understanding of the 'present'.

Herein the tendency and habit to project and create as the idea of our 'future' which is always based on what we currently see and understand as our 'present' – where we take what we currently live as knowledge and information and create our 'future' based on current understanding – already here we see the fear of simply living and letting go of knowledge and information – not allowing ourselves to exist as the simplicity that is always here and always needing to 'hold on to' our knowledge as our past, our memories, our 'experiences' as though such experiences are real or valid when even now, in this very breath, such experiences are not real – not solid – not existent in this reality other that in our own minds.

Thus 'future projection' in this context is the act of projecting and attempting to create as our 'future' and idea or belief of what will happen, based on the knowledge and information that we are existing as in the 'present' – or rather the 'now of consciousness'.

Sounding Words -

Future Pro-jection – Future Projected Actions – Actions that are not actually performed in reality, but rather projected as moving pictures in the screen of the mind that takes place in the 'future' like a science fiction film.

Redefining the Words “Future Projection” into a practical understanding -

Future Projections = For-Sure Projects in Action

A practical redefinition of the term “Future Projection” would be to consider instead of projecting our desired actions into the future as pictures in our minds, which would be us essentially creating 'science fiction' films about the 'future' to entertain ourselves with, to rather align our 'future' with certainty instead of 'possible projections'.

We can do this within standing AS the point of certainty, where we are 'for-sure' because we stop participating in any uncertainty or doubt within ourselves as to what we do and why/how we do it, so that we are sure that the result of our actions and accumulations will bring about a solution that is best for all.

In this way, the projections stop being pictures in the mind – and become PROJECTS in ACTION – where we are able to practically take on as projects the various aspects of our lives and of this existence that are not creating an experience that is best for all, where we can stop wondering what should be done about the situation and instead move ourselves practically and place ourselves into and as action to do what requires to be done, one step at a time as we sort out and participate in the greatest project that has ever been undertaken within existence – the establishment of Heaven on Earth.

Thus instead of allowing self to become trapped in science fiction pictures within the mind as 'future projections' of what would be 'cool' in some alternate reality 'future', we place ourselves HERE and bring HERE as for-sure projects that will in fact result in a world that is best for all in ways that previously were only considered in science fiction.

I commit myself to live as for-sure projects in action that which will bring about what we have all truly desired within what is best for all and to stop, forgive, and let go of 'future projections' that only exist in make-belief.

Bringing it back to Self - AGAIN

Earlier today I deleted a blog post that i had written in which i wrote about my experience within reacting to Lindsay and my experience within going into 'lockdown'. It was clear that i had written that blog in a state of energy and was in a point of justification/blame toward Lindsay, and that the writing was not self-directed or self-supportive, and was more a point of venting frustration and projecting.

In that blog i see that i was not directing myself within actual self-support within and as my words. the blog itself was not clear and at some point i had actually began to fall asleep - there are words and phrases there which make absolutely no sense.

the tone of the blog itself was that of blaming Lindsay and also a point of self-judgment. as i continued the writing i became more and more tired, and ended up having to 'abandon' the blog and posted it without having gotten myself clear and did not look at the words that i had placed, and did not take responsibility in that moment to not place words that are of the mind- words that are not clear self-support in consideration for what is best for all.

in the morning, i awoke and there was a trembling all over my body for a while. i breathed and after some time the trembling was gone. lindsay and i spoke on the point of me having placed that blog and i saw it was NOT cool to have posted it, and that it was NOT a self-honest, self-supportive writing. also, in the writing i had spoken about Lindsay not being 'patient' and not 'supporting me' from a point of projection and blame - which is not the actual truth.

thus, the blog post was deleted.

since that moment i have had a resistance blogging - having doubts of writing clearly and having points of self judgment and guilt for having posted that previous blog - not wanting to expose that this is indeed what had happened.

tonight when Lindsay and I chatted the point came up of me not having blogged, and i went into a reaction - as i saw in that moment how in the 'back of my mind' i had been having a resistance to blogging and that i had a point of self-judgment and guilt over the previous blog.
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i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to participate within self-judgment in relation to the point of having placed a blog that was written from a starting-point of energy and blame.

i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that i am the energetic experience of guilt and self-judgment

i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to participate within procrastination in order to 'put off' the point of blogging

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to, in that moment last night when i was seeing that i was not clear and was falling asleep, not support myself to stop writing in that very moment

i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to post words that are not clear and self-directed within a point of ego - wanting to 'push through' the point of falling asleep and wanting to 'prove' that i am 'stronger' than my tiredness

i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to strain myself as the physical within not supporting myself when i see that i am tired.

i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to hold on to this point of guilt within and as myself and to further compound a point of resisting writing, not trusting myself to support myself within writing.

i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge the writing itself to be something that i have to 'push through'

i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that i 'do not know what to write about' as an excuse to not write what is HERE

i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to compare my writing to others and judging my writing as not being 'effective enough' - and within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that i am not able to write as effectively

i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to want to be 'as good as the others' instead of sticking to self-writing as self-support and unconditional sharing.

i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to put my writing tonight off within procrastination in order to not have to face this point of judgment and guilt, and within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that judgment and guilt are valid experiences.

i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to manipulate myself within the experience of self-judgment and guilt in order to not take responsibility for myself.

I STOP. I do not allow myself to post writing that is clear and self-directed. I am able to write and clear myself and it is okay to write out the mind and write out the thoughts and blame and projection, but to within that clear myself and establish self-support and share the self-support - NOT share the ego/mind possessions.
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In relation to the point that was opened up on the subject of me going into 'lockdown' blaming Lindsay for not being 'willing to be patient with me' - i see that i have completely disregarded Lindsay and have not taken into consideration how patient she actually has been, as i have been having many of the same points continuously come up and Lindsay has been pointing it out each time. I see that I am the one who is projecting the point of 'impatience' and 'lack of gentleness' onto her out of reaction to her directness - and also due to self not wanting to face self - the ego/mind wanting to justify and hide.

I have seen for myself that I must be the one responsible for 'walking myself through a point' and being patient with self - yet within this to be direct and diligent with self to not accept or allow such points and to push self to stop existing within and as these systems.

i see that my 'approach' to my process has not been effective and consistent - and that i am able to adopt a more militant stance for myself - to take points 'head on' instead of internalizing and mulling things over.

i have placed a foundation/structure for myself in terms of how i will practically support myself through this point of reacting, taking things personally, and going into defensiveness and wanting to protect my limitations.

what i see is that i must be proactive and consistent within seeing WHAT i am defending and wanting to protect - to investigate for MYSELF what i am not wanting to let go of and how i came to accept that part of self within and as limitation. this will be a process that i will walk in time - and i am the only one able to do this for myself. the reactions and the mechanism of getting defensive and shutting down is specific to the points of limitation/dishonesty that i am not fully letting go of or do not fully see consciously yet/not wanting to fully see consciously yet.

in slowing self down and having placed this platform/structure of self-support i see that i am not 'immediately' integrating the change within self. i see that at the moment i have not yet accumulated for myself the ability and self-awareness to stop the reaction point entirely - that the automated system reaction currently happens faster than my current self-direction on this point. i see that the point of slowing down - slowing WAAAAAAY down - is a point to take on within this as well. not allowing self to exist within and as the 'hyperactivity' of the mind and to be fully HERE, which i see now i have been struggling with and is related to my pattern/point of internalizing deeply in myself before dealing with something in the physical, which i am currently also pushing through by participating with the physical - and here as well i have not fully integrated the change but i see that in time as i accumulate the point of pushing self to participate with/as the physical, the less of a hold my internalizing will have within my design.

a very cool blog post by rozelle assisted me to see that this is NOT a 'special' thing - that this is a specific pre-programmed system design, and as such it CAN be de-programmed and stopped. in this blog Rozelle shares the point verbatim - explaining in specific detail my exact experience with this.

So tonight, when i had gone into reaction when Lindsay brought up the point of me blogging, I see that I first went into reaction as an automatic response due to having a point within me of judging myself and experiencing guilt on the point of my previous blog post. The point became exposed and i saw how i wanted to hide/justify/argue... i did react and did not expose at that moment the reaction and i did have a moment of not wanting to face the blogging point and Lindsay did have to 'draw' it out of me, but i see that i was not in a point of wanting to fight/justify. in seeing the 'gears' turning within self as this system design, i did support myself within stopping the defense mechanism from triggering.

so i see that i must continue to apply myself within the structure/foundation of supporting myself through the reaction/defensiveness point by not going into reaction, and if i do to breathe and let go of taking it personally and moving self to investigate what i am reacting to and apply the correction. i see that the reactions for the moment are 'faster' because i have not yet fully established self here as directive principle.

so the application i see here is to continue pushing self to support self in each moment of reaction/defensiveness and to get to the 'root' of what i am defending/protecting as ego/mind/self-limitation. within this, to also apply SLOWING WAAAAAAAY down in all aspects of self and establish self HERE as the authority and letting go of internalizing before acting.

i see that what rozelle mentioned would be cool to apply - which is to push myself to be HERE when i speak and be aware of what i say, and to breathe effectively before and during when i speak.