Sunday, February 19, 2012

Excuses, Excuses - What I'm Realizing about Excuses and Self Sabotage

Excusing Excuses? What I am Realizing about Excuses as Self-Sabotage
Joe Kou

When is an excuse valid?

The mere asking of that question already invalidates the person asking it because in the very structure of such a question, the person asking is already abdicating and giving in to the idea and belief that there is some acceptable and justifiable answer for an 'excuse'.

This question arose within me earlier today looking at the point of consistency in my application, and I noticed myself experiencing a 'low' within me, as though there has been a weight within myself that I have been carrying but had been trying to ignore and simply 'cope with' rather than actually open up the point for myself.

What I saw within this is that I have not been as effective as I know I am able to be, and the only 'reason' for this can only come from the mind in the form of an excuse – the only 'reason' why I have not been effective with managing my time and being diligent in my consistency with things that I am taking on in my world can only come from what I am still accepting and allowing within me as experiences and justifications that I am abdicating myself to.

When I have a look at this point of not being diligent and consistent with points that I see and realize require my direction and application, the self honest answer is that there is nothing REAL holding me back – there is nothing physically limiting me from being able to be as effective as I can be in each moment, which leaves the realization that what is in fact holding meback is ME, and to be more specific, it is what I am accepting and allowing within myself.

When I sat with myself for a moment to look at this point, the first 'instinct' was to immediately look for 'reasons' and 'justifications' as to WHY I am not effectively taking on the points in my world and WHY things are not working out, WHY I am apparently unable to direct my living and the relationships with beings in my world currently – and in all this I was completely leaving out the point of realizing that any question that begins with “WHY” is actually just seeking a justification or a 'reason' that will seemingly make the situation “okay” or “acceptable” - like

Oh, so that's WHY this is happening. I understand now – boy am I glad I figured that out. I am so smart!”

And then leaving the point exactly where it is without any practical change or correction because apparently the ego is thus satisfied and has gotten itself 'off the hook' because as long as there is a reason – an excuse – a way for the ego to continue without having to change, without having to let go of an aspect of itself, it will at all costs latch on to whatever excuse we imagine for ourselves.

As I observed this 'search for reasons and excuses' that was happening within me, I realized that if I allowed myself to listen to any 'answer' that would come from this kind of 'questioning', I would only be denying myself the actual solution and the actual point of responsibility which will allow me to actually and practically correct myself.

Thus, every time I listen to my mind when it gives me a 'reason' for something, it is offering an excuse – it is offering a 'backdoor' through which I am able to manipulate myself and sabotage myself from actually taking responsibility for a point within myself. For example when I was looking at this point of not being diligent and consistent in the points that I am taking on in my world, the reasons came up immediately -

I don't have enough time!”
I'm too tired and drained from working so much!”
My home environment is not supportive!”
I'll just cope with things for now and I'll change later when things are more stable!”

All of the above statements say NOTHING IN FACT because they are only statements of belief, opinion, and conjecture – and have absolutely no practical basis within my actual physical reality, yet if I allow myself to accept any of those statements as 'real', I make the statement real through my own acceptance and allowance – and I become equal to those statements.

So here I am flagging this and taking responsibility for having accepted and allowed such statements to exist within and as me as excuses which I have used to excuse myself from actually changing and doing what I see is required to be done.

Firstly I will look at the word EXCUSE as it is currently defined -

1. to regard or judge with forgiveness or indulgence; pardon or forgive; overlook (a fault, error, etc.): Excuse his bad manners.

2. to offer an apology for; seek to remove the blame of: He excused his absence by saying that he was ill.

3. to serve as an apology or justification for; justify: Ignorance of the law excuses no one.

4. to release from an obligation or duty: to be excused from jury duty.

5. to seek or obtain exemption or release for (oneself): to excuse oneself from a meeting.


Here I see that I have assigned a negative charge to the word excuse. Thus -

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to assign a negative charge to the word 'excuse' and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the word “excuse” by allowing this polarity charge within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the word 'excuse' as being manipulative and deceptive because of how I have lived the word within my own application of manipulating and deceiving myself with excuses and justifications in order to not take responsibility for points within myself and my world and to project my own self judgment upon the very word 'excuse' because I am and have always been aware that the way I excuse myself with justifications and reasons is actually self dishonest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the word 'excuse' as being 'bad' instead of realizing that the word 'excuse' is simply a word and that I have been living the definition of that word as 'bad' – thus I am responsible for how I experience that word and how I present that word as me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear and resist using the word excuse because I have within my life created excuses as justifications and reasons in order to 'get out of trouble' and to avoid having to take responsibility for things that I am in fact responsible for.

I see and realize that the word 'excuse' is neither 'good' or 'bad' and is simply a word and that I require to purify myself within the way I am living and defining that word as myself.

Here I see that I have taken the word 'excuse' and lived it from a starting point of self-manipulation, wherein I use excuses to justify and explain away within my ego why I am not required to change, or to use the logic of the mind to 'reason' my way out of taking responsibility for myself within a point that I see requires to be directed, wherein I am releasing myself from responsibility by making something “okay” or “acceptable” when it is not – and the more I allow this game of “I excuse myself” the more I am allowing my backchat to direct me and the more I become the excuses and justifications I sell myself.

Another point to look at is what is it that I am actually excusing? And how is it that I allow myself to excuse that which is not acceptable? In this particular matter I am facing the point of realizing that I am not directing my time or my daily practical living effectively – so if I buy into any excuse in regard to this point, I am excusing myself for not directing myself effectively and I am actually giving myself a free pass to not only ignore the actual cause of me not being effective in my world, I am actually allowing myself to CONTINUE being ineffective – which is self abuse and self dishonesty.

Thus here I am no longer allowing myself to live this pattern of excuse within myself wherein I sabotage myself with an excuRse that traps me in my own self accepted limitation and instead to direct myself by asking HOW instead of WHY, and to support myself using the tools of writing, self forgiveness, and self-corrective application and establish me as point of self-change instead of allowing self to excuRse self and have to face the point compounded again as a time-loop.

Redefining and Clarification of the word “Excuse”

When I look at this word I see that 'excuses' are only able to be generated by the mind as a form of 'story telling' that attempts to paint a certain portrayal of an event or situation based on the reference point and perspective of the mind and not actually based on what is here in self honesty.

For example, a person who does not complete a task is able to see clearly for themselves how it is that they did not complete the task in question and to make necessary adjustments. Here, an excuse is not at all necessary as to WHY the person did not complete the task – because such a “WHY” question will only bring justifications and reasons whereas asking HOW will bring about the actual, practical, structural points that the person is able to have a look at, which has no 'negative' or 'positive' charge because it is simply looking at a point from a structural and practical perspective and is not personal.

Thus when I see/notice myself gathering up information within myself in preparation for an 'excuse' as an answer to WHY a person or situation in my life is going a certain way, I will stop and realize that what I am actually doing is giving myself a backdoor to not in fact look at the practical and structural corrections that I am able to make in order to stop/direct a point in myself or my world and realize that it is not personal and that if I am not effective within a certain point it is within my ability and responsibility to change and adjust.

I will therefore support myself my immediately stopping the WHY and rather ask myself HOW and write the point out and apply the necessary self forgiveness and self corrective application.

Thus “excuse” is not a word I will live and use within a starting point of abdicating self responsibility – rather I see and realize that 'excuse' is a device and mechanism of self misdirection and is an indication point for me that I am participating in a point of ego instead of looking at the point within self honesty and common sense because nothing that is here requires an 'excuse'.

So here, an example of taking responsibility for the words that one is living and accepting and realizing that WORDS are the foundation upon which we have built and designed who we are and what we live – thus it is important that we support ourselves by having effective tools and a structured method with which to open up the nitty gritty of ourselves and what we have become and actually re-create ourselves and take back all of the dimensions of self that we have separated ourselves from so that we can in fact be a REAL INDIVIDUAL within the contextof oneness and equality wherein we stand as an individualized and self-directed point within the expression of oneness and equality as who we are as life.

If you have not already, check out the desteni material and give yourself the gift of actually waking up for the first time and realizing that you are able to have a life of expression, value, and dignity by freeing yourself from the conditioning and the 'religion of the self' that we as humanity have abdicated ourselves to for so long. It is time to reclaim who you are and stand as an example for this world – so join us and walk with us and together let us sort out the mess we have been leaving here for centuries and build a world that will be heaven on earth. 


  1. Awesome Joe.

    I have also looked at the point of excuses and what I have seen is in the sounding of excuse as:




    An excuse is thus creating and seeing a backdoor for and within myself to not have to face myself or change.

    Thanks for sharing!

    1. ah yes - the 'exit i use' very cool observation anna.
      yes the excuse is the exit through the secret back door as backchat - time to close all such doors and get done what needs doing!