I am the walking manifestation of my unconscious thoughts

who and what i have come to define myself as within and without is what becomes my physical expression.

i have defined myself as fear and regret for a very long time now... this has been my experience of myself and this has been my self designed definition both in terms of my inner "private" experience and my outer "externalized" expression, and thus, has become my manifested physical truth. it has become what i experience myself as in the truth of physical expression.

indeed, i am become fear and regret.

why then is this attributed to my unconscious thoughts? my current understanding is that it breaks down as follows-

THOUGHTS as internal "private" experiences- Represent fractions of the truth of myself as it exists within the space of the Conscious, Sub-Conscious and Unconscious mind. Each "thought" is a refraction of an aspect of myself from which i have become separated from.

CONSCIOUS MIND- Roughly 5 percent of total thought activity, mostly used on functions and execution of physical tasks given the current context of experience.

SUB-CONSCIOUS MIND- Place where thoughts, self definitions, the truth of self, judgments, etc are "stored".

UNCONSCIOUS MIND- From which the majority of "thoughts" arise as a separated part of self. The truth of myself in terms of what i have accepted and allowed myself to become exists here, and from this wellspring comes thoughts as representations of this "inner" self.

how then to stop? to stop is simply to STOP.

no more do i define myself as fear and regret, and no more shall that become my accepted and allowed physical expression.

no more do i define myself through the inaction and justification of fear and regret, and no more shall i allow inaction and fearful excuses to be my physical expression.

Money Money Money Money.... .MOOOONEY!

What you resist persists.

The fears that I have accepted and allowed myself to become will be faced. That which I am still in separation and fear from I will have to deal with and sort out. My fears WILL and MUST manifest, and will compound again and again and again until finally I have enough "gall" to stand up within and as it and say "till here no further".

It is not to confront fear as an obstacle or as an opponent to be "fought" with. It is not to be seen as a "battle" against fear or the act of suppressing the fear. It is to truly stand up within fear, as fear, and to direct myself through it.

"biting the bullet", as it were.

my fears of money and security... they are manifesting now, and will compound until truly I have "had enough" and will be forced to break through it. here's a start....

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in separation from the money system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the money system as intrinsically "bad" or "evil" or as being the "root of all evil".

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself through "having money" and "being financially solvent".

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear losing money because it would mean that I am not a "smart person" or "a person able to support themselves".

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live and manifest my expression as being "less than" money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear losing the "stability" that money gives me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that money gives me stability.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I need or lack "stability" and must seek it outside of myself in separation from myself.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize myself as practical stability and unconditional support HERE as breath in self honesty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manipulate myself and others through the money system, thus furthering the dependency on money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that those with money are "superior" than those who do not.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to view those with money as "greater than" myself because they have stability and can support themselves more "easily" than I can.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself according to who is "more stable and able to support themselves in this world".

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in separation from stability and support.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire money as a means to "buy" the support or stability that I accepted and allowed myself to believe I require.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire money to buy things to distract me from my process and keep me in fear of "not having money to buy more distractions".

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to buy distractions such as movies, games, clothes, books, entertainment, and unnecessary recreational foods to keep myself occupied in my mind.

You can't fake it until you make it when it comes to honesty

Self trust cannot exist if you do not take your process seriously. I as who and what I truly am cannot remain HERE and exist in awareness and directiveness HERE in self honesty if I am not truly self honest.

The discipline required here is massive. No fucking around can be allowed. Joe Kou must end before I as life can be expressed here unconditionally and unrestricted by the boundaries of being "Joe Kou".

Inaction and Regret

The situation in terms of the political and economic status of America seems dubious at the moment.

We are now facing a worldwide economic crisis and the Federal Reserve and the central banks are trying to be our "saviors" while attempting to cover up the fact that it was them who engineered this crisis to begin with.

Martial law is becoming more and more of a mainstream topic. People are no longer as surprised at the notion of America possibly becoming a police state.

I am left to ponder whether or not I should effort to warn people or share my perspective of what is going to be occurring very very soon.

In reflection of this, I see that I cannot save anyone. I cannot stop what is coming. I cannot undo what has been accepted and allowed by myself and the rest of humanity. And even if I could, I would not choose to.

What will be occurring is nothing short of us coming face to face with the consequences of our own inner natures. What we have accepted and allowed ourselves to exist within and as, will be made very clear to us... and it will NOT be pleasant.

However, I find that I am not comfortable with the notion of simply sitting back and waiting for this meltdown to occur as though this is "what THEY deserve". I personally am just as responsible for this mess as anyone else. Does this not imply then that I personally have an equal share of the duty to clean the mess up?

So, I find that it is not to become a hero or champion and waking people up. Because doing so would only prove that the people were not able to do it for themselves and needed a "savior". No... it is to roll up my sleeves and get to work WITH and AS the people. Not as a leader, but as an equal.

We're all on the same boat, and the suffocating waters of regret and inaction do not discriminate between those who are aware of what is going on and those who are not.