A blog that assisted me greatly today is one written by Andrew, which can be read HERE, but i will share what specifically was assisting for me in this moment, as i am writing this blog. The following is an excerpt from Andrew's process blog-
"Before I begin writing this I am going to remind myself here, that what I write, is me. And that what I write becomes me. And what I write becomes my inner structure, and therefore to effectively support myself by writing an inner structural support that Stand as what is best for ALL, and that creates a functionally effective human being within the context of what I am currently facing , what I will be facing and where we are going in process in terms of bringing forth equality, an equal money system, a world that is best for all, and a human being that is dignified, self respected, trustworthy, and self honest."
What struck me here is the simple realization that i am what i speak - i am the words that i allow within and as me, as my expression in this reality, and that the words that i place affect not just myself, but all one and equal. thus it is important to be aware that the thoughts that i participate in - the feelings and emotions that i allow within me - the words that i think, speak, write, and define myself by - all have an accumulative effect as well as a manifested consequence.
i have been resisting blogging - resisting sharing myself - resisting process in general, and this is due to compounded back-chat and suppressed points that i have not allowed myself to walk through - points that i have allowed self to make 'bigger than self'. now that these points are coming up to the surface, i am faced with the manifested consequence of having hidden within myself so many thoughts - judgments - spitefulness - self-interest, and fears, thinking i can cheat or manipulate consequence.
what i am realizing is that when i write - it is not for me to indulge in the mind - to marinate within the points that i am facing - rather to write, as andrew put it, 'an inner structural support that Stand as what is best for ALL, and creates a functionally effective human being..."
thus what i accept and place as the words i express, are the words that i allow myself to live and stand as for eternity - and within this i am responsible for how i script myself within and as my self-writing - which is the foundation point of the words that i speak, which then are the foundation point for the words which i LIVE into being, which then are the foundation point of my accumulation within this reality.
in each moment, i am accumulating. in each moment, i am a participant within the creation of this existence, and thus i take responsibility for what i accept and allow by first ensuring that what i am accumulating within existence is indeed what is best for all by starting with self.
i recommit myself and re-align myself to this starting point within writing and blogging - this is not about personality. this is not about me sharing what i'm going through/working with from a starting-point of wanting people to validate me or accept me or give me energy for what i am sharing. this is about me scripting my actual change - sharing the actual building and restructuring process of breaking down my current limitations and self-definitions and accumulating what is best for all.
what i write is what i must live, and what is live is what i write - within this there is no point of ego, personality, or self-interest. there is no point of comparing my writing with others - as there is nothing to gain and nothing to lose - for we are all in this equally and it is in the best interest of all that we sort ourselves out and stand as self-willed equals.
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