In having a look at how I have been walking my agreement with Linday I see that I have not in fact been accumulating as a 'plus one', and that in fact what has been occurring is a form of relationship/dependency in which I was constantly consumed by the points that were coming up and not effectively changing self or taking the proper initiative to correct myself.
The point of an agreement is NOT for both partners to diminish and become less visible, less stable, less consistent with our application. Thus in looking at what I have been participating in, I see within self-honesty that I have not been expanding or accumulating what is in fact best for ALL and have rather been sidetracked by my own points of fear, anxiety, and self-limitation.
An effective agreement is not about having a 'stable relationship' or a 'good time with a partner'. an effective agreement is about two individuals who are STRONGER together and support each other to expand and be able to take on more responsibility within and as the physical reality - assisting and supporting one other to express ourselves at our fullest potential as examples of standing up in this world - and anything less than that accumulation is a RELATIONSHIP, and thus will eventually diminish both partners.
For myself I take on the self-responsibility that I have abdicated, and re-establish myself within my standing - that this is NOT about two beings getting comfortable with each other in order to exist within this bubble of comfort while the reality that is being disregarded only worsens for all. Thus i move myself to correct myself within what i accept and allow within SELF-agreement - to not compromise SELF within walking this agreement no matter what, and adjust/align self to in all ways be accumulating what is in fact best for all and no longer allow self to spend time on petty personal issues and focus on actually changing self to be effective in this world instead of hiding into a separate dimension within 'agreement'.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to abdicate self within walking my agreement, and within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to throw a tantrum within and as self-limitation when i am faced with a point.
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to disregard the actual state of suffering and abuse within this existence by wanting to focus and secure for self a point of 'comfort' within agreement
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to abuse the design of an agreement for self-interest, and within this i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to hide myself and allow self to diminish within the agreement
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to focus on establishing a 'stable/effective' agreement from a starting point that was not taking into consideration what is in fact best for all.
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to lose myself within the pattern of self-limitation and the design of 'inferiority' instead of pushing through and actually supporting self within self-change in order to take responsibility for self and the world that self has created.
i forgive myself that i have disregarded what is best for all LIFE within my application within the agreement.
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to blame my partner for my own self-limitations
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to project my own points of self-limitation onto my partner
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for not having walked the agreement fully effectively within considering what is the accumulation and whether it is in fact best for all.
i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to compromise self within self-commitment.
i walk and adjust and align myself to what is best for all and i apply myself within self-change in order to take on more responsibility within and as self as well as within the world.
i will support myself effectively to become an effective person who can be trusted and can be counted on to do what is necessary to be done in order to bring forth a world that is in fact best for all life one and equal.
i will push myself within writing, vlogging, and studying - and insist that i expand within my standing and to never allow within self any point of limitation/fear to define/control me.
I re-commit myself to self-agreement, and re-commit self to my agreement with Lindsay, to walk as a 'plus one'.