Newly Unemployed and a Night Out with Self Part ONE

Newly Unemployed and a Night Out with Self Part ONE

Today was my last day at work, and I faced points of excitement and energy within the point of 'change'. I had been working at my current job for nearly 6 years, and I experienced thoughts today of “wow this is going to be weird” and “I am going to without a routine/schedule” and I was seeing self-definitions of and as a “full-time worker” melting away as my final work shift drew to a close and I began to say my goodbyes to my co-workers.

In those moments when the thoughts/emotions would arise I would stop them but I see that there was a part of me that allowed the thoughts/feelings to linger before I had directed myself to delete them. So there were some points of not wanting to let go of the energy around my self-definition of 'full-time worker' as well as the memories/experiences accumulated over the years. ________________________________________________________________________

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in that moment of experiencing lingering thoughts and emotions around this being my last day at work, not direct myself within letting go of and clearing myself of attachments to the self-definition of 'full-time worker'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am the self-definition of a 'full-time worker'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire holding on to the validation I would get from others which I used to feed my self-definition of 'full-time worker'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear/resist letting go of the energy I would get around the point of being at work and being among co-workers

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within thoughts of 'this is going to be exciting/new/different'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am different because of moving to Portland and 'taking on' something new.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place energy and emotional charges on the point of leaving my job and moving to Portland.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within gossip and energy around the point of it being my 'last day' with my co-workers.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within and as my ego/personality within saying goodbye to my fellow co-workers and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in that moment not direct myself to stop and rather not participate from an energetic starting point.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within energetic reactions as experiences within self as I greeted and informed fellow co-workers that it was my last day and said goodbye.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that me leaving my job and moving to Portland is a 'special' event that should be recognized within a starting-point of energetic reactions.

I STOP.

I support myself and live HERE in each moment. I let go of thoughts and feelings within myself and see that they are not me.

I walk within and as the simplicity of what is here in the moment, whether I am here, in Portland, working, not working.


PART TWO TO CONTINUE -