Self forgiveness for desteni video "Self Moving and Mind Initiated Movement"

Here i forgive points that came up in watching the desteni group video Self Moving and mind initiated movement




I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist hearing and integrating for myself sunette's words in this video.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for 'falling' and to not see the realization that if I am able to experience falling, then it is an indication that I am not actually standing here as self within complete self acceptance in each moment and that I have gone into a projection and idea/self image that I have superimposed upon everything and everyone.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an image and idea of myself of being at a certain stage of my process and that I am at that stage unshakable and solid instead of being vulnerable and totally exposed always as I walk within self acceptance at all times in each breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that others will perceive me as 'fallen' or 'not trustworthy' if I expose myself in a way that is contradictory to the image and projection that I am attempting to portray myself and live myself as within separation and self dishonesty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire being seen and accepted as something that I am not in fact.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be 'already' at a stable and firm foundational point within my process wherein I am comfortable and confident in myself to take on and handle all things without difficulty instead of dedicating myself to walk and work with whatever is here and to do so step by step, point by point, in self honesty, gentleness, diligence, and discipline.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for 'falling' instead of realizing that my 'fall' was simply an indication for self that I had gone into a mental projection/idea of myself that I was attempting to live as within separation and self dishonesty, and that 'falling' in that context is a point of support for myself within seeing where I am separating myself and where I am seeking validation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to form ideas and perceptions about myself based on the qualities that I see within other desteni members and to desire to have those qualities for myself within imitating or attempting to integrate what I see within separation, thus forming an ideal that I attempt to live and become instead of remaining here in each moment in self acceptance and walking my process breath by breath in vulnerability.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist sharing myself openly and candidly and to expose myself as having issues and points where I am still in the process of correcting.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within the believe and projection that desteni members who are 'further in process' are able to deal with points without difficulty and that they do not experience the struggles that I have within my process and thus by this mental logic- if I am having difficulty then I am 'not in process'.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within the energetic movement of guilt within wanting to 'fix what I did wrong' and 'correct where I have fucked up' within my process.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I now must force myself and to place myself into situations that are not necessary for me to force or 'correct' out of guilt and energy and thoughts of having 'made a mistake' within experiencing me as falling.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within wanting to fix my 'mistakes' with kelly within wanting to 'prove' that I am able to be trustworthy- wherein I am abdicating self responsibility and self honesty within my process and depending on feedback from another in order to validate where I am within my application.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I require to be able to push through everything in one moment based on comparing myself to the ideal picture of myself that I would like to be and live as instead of living here within each moment and applying myself within what is here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within going into guilt and regret and then participating in wanting to 'prove' myself and wanting to 'fix' everything and take everything on and to go searching and hunting for points wherein I am able to 'redeem' myself by breaking through or transcending from a starting point of seeking self redemption instead of living within common sense practicality here in each moment, dealing only with what is here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to have a shortcut within this process and to desire to experience myself free of my limitations instead of accepting myself here in each moment and taking on the points that are actually here instead of attempting to force myself through.