Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Blogging for the very first time

I have been noticing a point of anxiety and tension within blogging and vlogging every day - where i am creating the application of daily vlogging/blogging to be a 'rule' to be followed - something that i must force myself to do - instead of it being a matter of self-movement within simply living the decision and doing it.

i found myself not actually being HERE throughout my day - and was participating in thoughts in relation to time - where i would check the time continuously and become more unstable within self the later it gets if i did not already have a blog or vlog done - and creating anxiety/pressure/stress within the point of blogging/vlogging instead of being HERE and sharing self from the starting-point of self-support.

there has also been a point of wanting to maintain a certain 'momentum' within blogging and vlogging every day - and wanting to make sure that each blog/vlog i do gets 'better' or at least maintains a certain quality, which comes from judgment and comparison with previous blog posts as well as postings from others, wherein i judge myself as 'not good enough to share" or "i am not clear enough on this point", which shows that i have created an idea about what a blog/vlog should 'look like'

the starting-point of vlogging/blogging each day is to actually expand myself within my practical living by utilizing the blogging as self-writing to assist myself through points, and the vlogging being a point where i directly face and observe myself from the 'outside'.

something that i find assisting is to set myself up for blogging, dropping all knowledge, comparisons, past memories and events, and letting go of the ideas that i have accepted and allowed to exist within myself.

in having a look at this point i am seeing how i have been missing the simplicity of working with what is here, practically, and realizing that who and what i am in this moment, within this very breath is HERE, and that each blog is my 'first' blog, as i push myself to move and write as breath in the very moment of putting my hands on the keyboard.

thus i support myself to not begin going into thoughts, wanting a certain outcome, or creating pressure within the point of blogging/vlogging as a command to be followed instead of being a self-movement in each moment of breath.

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