Okay... here are the tools that I am currently using as part of my process.
Self Honesty- This is a MUST. You cannot imagine all the crap that I have built up over the years... and all the layers of self deception that I have walled myself in with. So, self honesty has to be brutally applied without exceptions. If I'm going to really stop Joe Kou and start living my OWN life, I have to face all the things I've buried and tried to hide from myself so that I don't repeat my old patterns anymore.
Self Forgiveness- This is where I forgive myself as Joe Kou for what has been accepted and allowed. This is not a hocus pocus magic trick that removes my issues for me. This is a tool to release myself from any attachments or emotional baggage that I may be entagled by. Whenever I have an emotional reaction to something or when I feel like something is pulling my attention and focus away from myself... I apply self forgiveness for allowing that to happen and then I stop participating in that.
Writing- This is extremely helpful. It's like looking at the source code for your personal programming and seeing in front of you what is going on inside. There doesn't need to be a format or style... just write. Write a story, a blog, a letter, a word. Just write.
Self Correction- Another MUST DO if I am serious about stopping my life as a Joe Kou and living my real unconditional self here. It is not enough to point out the faults in my mental self... I have to do something about it. When a point of transcendence comes up, I either transcend it or it will loop back again and I'll have to face it another time. But until I really correct myself and release myself from my programming and old patterns, I won't really be free. I'd just be a Joe Kou.
Breathing- Seems simplistic, but when I am focused on each breath I take... I am HERE, and I am aware of myself and I am expressing myself without the contextual baggage of having to be Joe Kou. I simply am. I breathe. Being in the breath assists you in being truly here at this moment.
So, those are the tools I'm using right now. It's a process.