There have been MANY points that have been opened up since moving in with Lindsay a few days ago - and experiencing massive lock-downs as well as resistances, blame, judgment, projection, manipulation, dishonesty within myself - facing many loops and moments of frustration within a point that keeps coming up and seemingly won't ever 'go away', and within this also seeing self-honestly how deep such limitations can go - and how hard the mind/ego can/will fight in order to not face change.
within facing such points the 'truth' of self comes forth and there is NO hiding - all becomes 'laid out' or 'played out' - meaning one either exposes the point and pushes self to correct and stop the pattern, or the point will continue to play out and manifest as consequence that must be faced.
what has assisted me greatly is sticking to the decision - to not give up - no matter what, and knowing that i will have to face a LOT of suppressed shit that i have not been thus far willing to change - all of the suppressed points will and MUST come out within walking an agreement with another and it does NOT feel good, it is NOT pretty, and it is NOT fun at all when experiencing points of frustration, blame, projection, self-denial, manipulation, and clashes of resonance/ego which WILL happen. walking an agreement is NOT a relationship where things are pre-programmed and simple and one simply does what one 'feels like'.
another point that i experience within walking with lindsay is having all of my self-beliefs, self-definitions, self-manipulations fall flat - as lindsay has become able to 'read' my actual physical indicators and can 'see right through me' as ego/mind - and also for myself getting a clearer 'view' of where i am still accepting self to remain within justification and hiding, refusing to let go of a point. as the point keeps coming up, it gets more and more obvious, and also the point becomes more and more ridiculous as the layers of justification, dishonesty, manipulation within self peel away and one accumulates the actual change. some points may take a day, some may take years - yet within having dedicated self to walking no matter what, it is certain - all points will be faced.
i see the importance of opening self up and being vulnerable - pushing self to participate with lindsay ESPECIALLY when there is resistance or lockdown - and within this bringing all points back to self and realizing that NOTHING that the 'other' says about you is actually about you - that we have system designs which automatically 'want to' and are very very 'good at' blaming, projecting, deflecting, manipulating when one is not self-aware. thus to not allow self to 'take it personally', which is something that i have participated in for a large part of my life and has become 'automatic' to a certain degree. within this it is not to justify or excuse self from taking responsibility and stopping self within this point or to create stories about how 'hard' or difficult it will be to stop this point - simply take the point in the moment and begin to accumulate for self the self-correction even if at first one must stumble and fumble and completely 'fall' - to keep standing back up - to keep getting back on the bicycle and not allowing self to give up - ever.
a point that i have been having a lot of trouble with is suppressing self and not sharing self - exposing self within vulnerability. i see that as this point has flared up time and time again - as i experience lindsay becoming more and more frustrated at having to put up with me going into lockdowns and not sharing self, more layers DO come off and i see more dimensions of myself within the points that i am facing.
Lindsay and I have very 'opposed' system programming - wherein we do not 'like' each other in terms of matrix relationships and often there is resistance to one another - wherein our system designs manifested as personality will 'clash' or simply have not point of relating or wanting to participate with each other - not finding a point of energy around which to generate experiences - which is actually very cool because it is exposing just how programmed and limited the mind/ego is - to such an extent that i have not acquired the ability to enjoy self with another regardless of who the other is - and instead have relied on relationships and attraction in order to 'facilitate' enjoying self with another.
i a am grateful for this agreement - that within this i am facing aspects and dimensions of self that i have not wanted to face - and seeing that in time, as we walk, i WILL change - and allowing myself to stumble and fall and completely 'fail' in the beginning - if that means that i will eventually stand absolute, and 'reminding' self of the opportunity that we have in this life to stop enslaving ourselves to the mind-consciousness systems, 'reminding' self that we are NOT the limitations of our pre-design.
thus i commit to continuing to walk this agreement, continuing to push myself within process, continuing no matter how many times i fall and have to start over - to get back on the bike each and every time until i stop falling.
Documenting My Self-Honesty and Self-Forgiveness Process
Showing posts with label self enjoyment. Show all posts
Showing posts with label self enjoyment. Show all posts
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Monday, January 3, 2011
Joe and Lindsay's Agreement Definitions
Joe and Lindsay’s Agreement
We commit to walk together, sharing ourselves unconditionally within the principle of equality and oneness, and thus assist and support each other - as ourselves - in complete and total self-honesty - not allowing anything less than who we are as Life - thus, we walk all points of separation, within absolute self-correction - until here no further.
Establishing a point of self-trust, and through this, establishing a point of trust with each other, by utilizing unconditional communication - realizing that we are walking alone in our specific process, therefore we take self-responsibility, while understanding, and living the understanding, that we as all of existence, walk this process together - as all, as one, as equal. We push each other, within an application of gentle brutality, to live and expand until all that is here is life - one and equal.
This agreement must not become a ‘third entity’ that is created by us through participation within and as energy, wherein it manifests a relationship = separation. We stand absolute with or without the ‘other’ - no matter what.
We establish and live total self-acceptance within and as self-intimacy, and through this, intimacy with each other. We explore sexual self-expression - holding nothing back, assisting each other, as ourselves, to diffuse all points of separation within and as energy, in order to live self-enjoyment unconditionally.
We keep the agreement practical, not personal - knowing that we are NOT the points of the mind consciousness system - such as ego/personality/opinions/blame/judgment/self interest/etc. which will be transcended in order to establish equality, here - in fact = birthing ourselves as life from the physical.
Sharing - To give to each other unconditionally what we would like to give to ourselves.
Examples of not living the word ‘Sharing’ - Holding back, not sharing completely all points = conditional, holding on to secrets, self-interest within and as greed.
Assist and Support - We stand one and equal to each other as ourselves and directing all points within self-honesty to not accept anything less than who the other is as life. Such as - openly discussing/communicating, utilizing muscle communication, writing, sharing on forum, self-forgiveness along with self-corrective application, touch, bringing the point HERE instead of allowing points to remain within the mind, physical intimacy.
Examples of not living the words ‘Assist and Support’ - To accept and allow self definitions, limitation, dishonesty within the other as self, thus allowing the mind consciousness system enslavement to continue within both beings therefore within all of existence. To not direct, open up, or correct a point that is seen. To not ‘time-loop for two’ - understanding that one’s time-loop is another’s and both will have to face compounded consequences.
Self-Honesty - Knowing that who self is as life is not the mind, thus sharing self unconditionally without fear = having the courage to live here in each moment without any limitation whatsoever.
Examples of not living the word ‘Self-Honesty’ - To exist as the mind within and as self-dishonesty, self-limitation, self-interest, and separation from all life, here. Such as - letting the mind figure it out, participating in thoughts within the secret mind, wanting to be ‘more than life’ by existing within and as ego, wanting to change another/the world/existence, as separate from self.
Self-Trust - Accumulating the self-will and self-movement to direct self within self-honesty, thus stopping the existence of mind consciousness enslavement - establishing self as the authority in each moment without fear.
Examples of not living the word ‘Self-Trust’ - Seeing the other as a ‘savior’, wanting to be directed by the other before moving self = self-doubt, abdicating self and allowing the mind to run on ‘autopilot’, existing within fear of loss.
Communication - Openly and unconditionally speaking with each other as self, and sharing all points within and as self honesty.
Examples of not living the word ‘Communication’ - stifling self by not bringing up all points in the moment they arise, believing that one can hide, keeping secrets, holding onto ego and self-definitions/self-limitations.
Self-Responsibility - Self is the only one able to ‘respond’ to self, thus self is alone response-able for correcting and directing all points within self-agreement as another, self-honestly - HERE.
Examples of not living the word ‘Self-Responsibility’ - Abdicating self, wanting to be ‘fixed’, blaming the other, projecting our own points onto the other, wanting the other to change/wanting to change the other. Not bringing all points back to self.
Relationship - Relating to another as self. Walking with another as an equal, thus standing alone with no strings attached.
Examples of not living the word ‘Relationship’ - Sinking on the real-hate-shun-ship by accepting and allowing a third entity to possess self through creating points of dependency rooted in separation. Falling into mind-definitions of ‘relationship’ that are conditioned and pre-programmed into self - to enslave self into ‘comfort’ within ‘complacency’ and self-limitation which sabotages self from realizing self as all one as equal.
Self-Acceptance - Walking within and as vulnerability, humility, humbleness, and gentleness. Accepting and allowing self to expand as self explores who self is within and as oneness and equality. Embracing self within the totality of self in every moment of breath, while letting go of that which does not stand within the principle of what is best for all.
Examples of not living the word ‘Self-Acceptance’ - Accepting and allowing self to exist as ego within self-judgment, self-limitation, self-diminishment, comparing self to ideals based on pre-programming, self-spite, self-rejection, self-definitions, self-neglect, self-abuse, thus projecting all of these points onto the other instead of bringing it back to self.
Self-Intimacy - Self-Into-Me-I-See - Seeing into all aspects of self within and as self-honesty. Being aware of how self functions, down to exact specificity, so there are no ‘hidden corners’ in which self may remain within and as the mind. Opening self up to existence - unconditionally - within the realization that self IS all of existence, thus any point of resistance indicate self closing off from who self is as life = separation. Seeing into the other as self.
Examples of not living the word ‘Self-Intimacy’ - To reject self/the other, within fear of exposing self to self within brutal self-honesty.
Sexual Self-Expression - Utilizing touch and breath with the other, as a point of self-support within self-honesty, to break down and transcend the mind - pushing through all points of resistance, and if resistance(s) arise - doing it anyway - to not remain within limitation/fear/separation/ego/excuses. Releasing all points of energy within orgasm that feed the mind consciousness system, thus purifying self-expression within and as the physical, during physical self-intimacy with the other.
Examples of not living the words ‘Sexual Self-Expression’ - Participating within points of resistance that separate one from the physical while residing in the mind. Participating in thoughts/pictures within the act of sexual self-expression with the other, thus accepting and allowing energy to possess self = fueling the mind consciousness system.
Self-Enjoyment - Having fun. Exploring/expanding the various ways self is able to express self within the unlimited potential of this existence. There are no rules. There are no limits. There are no boundaries - only self - HERE. Self-Enjoyment is a self-movement that is not directed by or dependent upon energy/mind in any way whatsoever - EVER!!!! OKAY?! COOL!
Example of not living the word ‘Self-Enjoyment’ - Being a fucker.
We commit to walk together, sharing ourselves unconditionally within the principle of equality and oneness, and thus assist and support each other - as ourselves - in complete and total self-honesty - not allowing anything less than who we are as Life - thus, we walk all points of separation, within absolute self-correction - until here no further.
Establishing a point of self-trust, and through this, establishing a point of trust with each other, by utilizing unconditional communication - realizing that we are walking alone in our specific process, therefore we take self-responsibility, while understanding, and living the understanding, that we as all of existence, walk this process together - as all, as one, as equal. We push each other, within an application of gentle brutality, to live and expand until all that is here is life - one and equal.
This agreement must not become a ‘third entity’ that is created by us through participation within and as energy, wherein it manifests a relationship = separation. We stand absolute with or without the ‘other’ - no matter what.
We establish and live total self-acceptance within and as self-intimacy, and through this, intimacy with each other. We explore sexual self-expression - holding nothing back, assisting each other, as ourselves, to diffuse all points of separation within and as energy, in order to live self-enjoyment unconditionally.
We keep the agreement practical, not personal - knowing that we are NOT the points of the mind consciousness system - such as ego/personality/opinions/blame/judgment/self interest/etc. which will be transcended in order to establish equality, here - in fact = birthing ourselves as life from the physical.
Sharing - To give to each other unconditionally what we would like to give to ourselves.
Examples of not living the word ‘Sharing’ - Holding back, not sharing completely all points = conditional, holding on to secrets, self-interest within and as greed.
Assist and Support - We stand one and equal to each other as ourselves and directing all points within self-honesty to not accept anything less than who the other is as life. Such as - openly discussing/communicating, utilizing muscle communication, writing, sharing on forum, self-forgiveness along with self-corrective application, touch, bringing the point HERE instead of allowing points to remain within the mind, physical intimacy.
Examples of not living the words ‘Assist and Support’ - To accept and allow self definitions, limitation, dishonesty within the other as self, thus allowing the mind consciousness system enslavement to continue within both beings therefore within all of existence. To not direct, open up, or correct a point that is seen. To not ‘time-loop for two’ - understanding that one’s time-loop is another’s and both will have to face compounded consequences.
Self-Honesty - Knowing that who self is as life is not the mind, thus sharing self unconditionally without fear = having the courage to live here in each moment without any limitation whatsoever.
Examples of not living the word ‘Self-Honesty’ - To exist as the mind within and as self-dishonesty, self-limitation, self-interest, and separation from all life, here. Such as - letting the mind figure it out, participating in thoughts within the secret mind, wanting to be ‘more than life’ by existing within and as ego, wanting to change another/the world/existence, as separate from self.
Self-Trust - Accumulating the self-will and self-movement to direct self within self-honesty, thus stopping the existence of mind consciousness enslavement - establishing self as the authority in each moment without fear.
Examples of not living the word ‘Self-Trust’ - Seeing the other as a ‘savior’, wanting to be directed by the other before moving self = self-doubt, abdicating self and allowing the mind to run on ‘autopilot’, existing within fear of loss.
Communication - Openly and unconditionally speaking with each other as self, and sharing all points within and as self honesty.
Examples of not living the word ‘Communication’ - stifling self by not bringing up all points in the moment they arise, believing that one can hide, keeping secrets, holding onto ego and self-definitions/self-limitations.
Self-Responsibility - Self is the only one able to ‘respond’ to self, thus self is alone response-able for correcting and directing all points within self-agreement as another, self-honestly - HERE.
Examples of not living the word ‘Self-Responsibility’ - Abdicating self, wanting to be ‘fixed’, blaming the other, projecting our own points onto the other, wanting the other to change/wanting to change the other. Not bringing all points back to self.
Relationship - Relating to another as self. Walking with another as an equal, thus standing alone with no strings attached.
Examples of not living the word ‘Relationship’ - Sinking on the real-hate-shun-ship by accepting and allowing a third entity to possess self through creating points of dependency rooted in separation. Falling into mind-definitions of ‘relationship’ that are conditioned and pre-programmed into self - to enslave self into ‘comfort’ within ‘complacency’ and self-limitation which sabotages self from realizing self as all one as equal.
Self-Acceptance - Walking within and as vulnerability, humility, humbleness, and gentleness. Accepting and allowing self to expand as self explores who self is within and as oneness and equality. Embracing self within the totality of self in every moment of breath, while letting go of that which does not stand within the principle of what is best for all.
Examples of not living the word ‘Self-Acceptance’ - Accepting and allowing self to exist as ego within self-judgment, self-limitation, self-diminishment, comparing self to ideals based on pre-programming, self-spite, self-rejection, self-definitions, self-neglect, self-abuse, thus projecting all of these points onto the other instead of bringing it back to self.
Self-Intimacy - Self-Into-Me-I-See - Seeing into all aspects of self within and as self-honesty. Being aware of how self functions, down to exact specificity, so there are no ‘hidden corners’ in which self may remain within and as the mind. Opening self up to existence - unconditionally - within the realization that self IS all of existence, thus any point of resistance indicate self closing off from who self is as life = separation. Seeing into the other as self.
Examples of not living the word ‘Self-Intimacy’ - To reject self/the other, within fear of exposing self to self within brutal self-honesty.
Sexual Self-Expression - Utilizing touch and breath with the other, as a point of self-support within self-honesty, to break down and transcend the mind - pushing through all points of resistance, and if resistance(s) arise - doing it anyway - to not remain within limitation/fear/separation/ego/excuses. Releasing all points of energy within orgasm that feed the mind consciousness system, thus purifying self-expression within and as the physical, during physical self-intimacy with the other.
Examples of not living the words ‘Sexual Self-Expression’ - Participating within points of resistance that separate one from the physical while residing in the mind. Participating in thoughts/pictures within the act of sexual self-expression with the other, thus accepting and allowing energy to possess self = fueling the mind consciousness system.
Self-Enjoyment - Having fun. Exploring/expanding the various ways self is able to express self within the unlimited potential of this existence. There are no rules. There are no limits. There are no boundaries - only self - HERE. Self-Enjoyment is a self-movement that is not directed by or dependent upon energy/mind in any way whatsoever - EVER!!!! OKAY?! COOL!
Example of not living the word ‘Self-Enjoyment’ - Being a fucker.
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