Fearing What Might Come Up Within Writing and How I am STOPPING It.

Fearing What Might Come Up Within Writing and Looking at "Resistance"

Joe Kou

3/15/2012

Here I am writing about a point of 'fear' and it is fascinating because the as I sit here to write I immediately found myself in a point of resistance where I just didn't want to 'go there', and for a while I wrestled with this resistance within myself by saying to myself “NO, I will write about fear, I will not allow this reaction/resistance” but as I made this statement within myself I experienced the resistance even further because instead of that statement being an actual self statement it was rather a statement I was making as an attempt to 'overpower' or 'overcome' the resistance and in this I was separating myself from being able to actually see and understand what was the cause of my resistance and how it is that I created and integrated this resistance as myself, where I had allowed myself to go into this automatic response of not wanting to write about fear.

So I begin here within the realization that my resistance to writing about fear is exactly the point where I must begin to write about my fear lol.

The first point I see within this is that I have, through studying the desteni material and applying the concepts and having a look at how I have designed myself as a system throughout the years of my life, I have accumulated a point of 'knowledge' about the design of fear and how it operates within us but have not actually FULLY lived those realizations as myself – wherein the knowledge and information about how we design ourselves and limit ourselves through and as fear remained within me as a point of knowledge and information instead of being an actual point of application, and thus in spite of having a functional understanding of the design of fear I continued to allow myself to be limited by and directed by fear. This is an example of how easy it is for us to slip into the ego and assume that we have things 'under control' because we believe ourselves to be superior to the mind when in fact it is the other way around whenever we allow ego and knowledge to be our directive principle.

So here I take responsibility for the point of having accumulated knowledge in regards to the point of fear and not actually pushing myself to live and apply the knowledge to support myself to stop existing within and as fear within myself and thus stop the existence of and as fear within my world.

Self-Forgiveness on Accumulating Knowledge about Fear

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accumulate knowledge about fear within reading and studying the desteni material from a starting point of separating myself from the information and storing the information as a part of myself within and as knowledge.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I must 'know' all about the system and the design of the system in order to 'understand' it and only then begin to apply myself within the application of stopping the system instead of realizing that I already understand what I require to understand in terms of the practical knowledge of the system and that the only way to actually become effective within stopping the fear within me is to push myself within stopping fear using the tools and knowledge that I have learned.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manipulate myself and spite myself within continuing to allow fear within and as me to direct and control me when I have the tools and the knowledge necessary to assist and support myself to stop the fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that fear is an essential part of 'who I am' and that I cannot exist or function without fear when in fact I see/realize/understand that fear is not real and has never in fact supported me to be an effective being in this world and has only lead to unnecessary worry and diminishment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am not able to stop fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abdicate myself to and as fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to postpone and procrastinate within the point of supporting myself to stop fear when and if it arises within me within the justification/excuse of “I am not ready to take this point on, I do not have the strength/will/ability to stop this fear and thus I will allow this fear to direct me this time” when in fact I see/realize/am aware that such statements are actually statements of deliberate self manipulation and diminishment because I am at all times capable to stopping fear and changing who I am in relation to fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the fear is protecting me and assisting me and that when I am faced with a situation in which I experience this fear that I should 'trust' this fear instead of realizing that by abdicating myself to this fear I am accepting a mental reality instead of supporting myself within my practical physical reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own fear within the perspective of believing that if I were to stand up and face my fears that I would be 'shot down' and would end up giving in to my fears anyway because that has been the pattern that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as.

Till here no further. I no longer accept myself to remain within and as the point of fear when I see/realize/understand that I have the tools as well as the practical knowledge of how the system of fear works and that I am fully capable of supporting myself to walk out of the fear and stand as self-directive principle.

I see/realize/understand that fear is not 'real' and is a system design that operates as a 'protection mechanism' which maintains and holds the current programmed nature of me as my personality as self-interest and that this fear is not actually protecting me, but is ensuring that I do not in fact actually dare to change.

I see/realize/understand that it is not about fighting or overpowering the fear because that will only lead to further separation and compounding wherein I am actually feeding and validating the existence of the fear – thus rather than trying to overpower or fight or attempt to suppress the fear within me I will allow myself to unconditionally see what is 'behind' the fear and how I allowed myself to design this fear within me so that I can in fact face and correct the real issue, realizing that fear is not who or what I am and that it is simply an indication of a point where I am not directing myself and am holding onto a belief/pattern that is in conflict with self-honesty.

When I see/notice/experience this point of fear within me I will not allow myself to simply accept the fear and 'go no further'. Rather I will stop the reaction/experience of fear within me by breathing and supporting myself to get back HERE to a point of stability within self and look at what is behind the fear as the 'trigger' for the fear experience and then apply myself within looking at practical solutions to the issue.

When I see/notice/experience the point of fear within me as resistance to looking at something within myself or before approaching a task that must be directed I will stop and realize that the fear is not valid and is completely unnecessary because anything that I am fearing or resisting is simply myself – my own creation – thus fear is always fear of self.

So as a point of practical correction when I notice this point of fear of writing about my fear I will support myself by living and applying the understanding that the fear itself is not real or valid and that it is only me trying to hide from myself, and that if there is a point where I fear to open up/expose, it is an indication that I am holding on to a selfdefinition instead of realizing that I am HERE as life and that nothing is ever “personal” - that there is nothing that I have done that I am not already 'aware of' within self honesty and there is no point in debating with myself or waiting for myself to forgive myself.

Okay – so now to push forward with what was 'behind' the fear of writing -

I see that I had developed an accumulated point of not wanting to 'look at' the points in my life where I still experience fear/anxiety/conflict due to fearing that by opening up these points I would have to ultimately move myself and change and take responsibility – believing that if I just 'ignore' the point I am able to have some 'leeway' and not have to face the consequences, which is actually the other way around because the more I convince myself that I am not able to take responsibility for myself in all aspects of myself, the more I am accepting and validating my diminishment and limitation and within this I am actually eroding and compromising my own point of self-trust and self-honesty – because how can I actually stand up as life if I am not able to trust my own words and be able to stand with myself no matter what?

So behind the fear of writing about what I fear and where I still experience fear/resistance/anxiety in my life I was actually reacting to the awareness that I do still have such points where I have not directed myself and instead of giving myself the opportunity to forgive the fear and see practical solutions to change myself and stop those fears and actually stand up, I was compromising myself by allowing the fear and resistance to be a 'wall' behind which I would hide from facing me as self-responsibility, and believing that I was not in fact able to 'handle' what was on the 'other side' of that wall – despite the fact there is no 'other side' and that the wall was just myself keeping my eyes closed while my world and my daily living continued to play out the manifested consequences of my inaction and failure to respond as my response-ability.

Self Forgiveness on Fear of Facing Fear in My Life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear admitting to myself and being self honest with the points where I am still allowing myself to be directed and controlled by fear, wherein I am simply allowing the fear to direct me instead of realizing that I am able to see beyond the fear and understand how I created that fear and how I am able to practically support myself to effectively change me within my relationship to that which I fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to stop whenever I experience a point of fear or resistance and to accept that fear or resistance as an actual 'real' wall or barrier where I will not go any further or push myself beyond that threshold.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear writing about my fears and letting go of my fears due to having accepted and believed that those fears are who I am instead of realizing the simplicity of breathing and being here and seeing that I am already here and that I do not require fear to exist within and as me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for experiencing fear when I 'know better' instead of applying my knowledge practically to in fact stop the fear and develop and expand myself within my expression and my directive principle of me so that there is no reason to doubt or judge or diminish myself because I am in fact walking and living a process of self creation wherein I am becoming an effective being that I am able to be satisfied with and can stand as into eternity.

I see/realize/understand that by applying myself within not allowing the fear to be real but to simply see fear as an indication/opportunity to free myself from limitation and self-diminishment, I am able to walk through any fear that arises within me and thus I have no 'excuse' for continuing to allow the experience of and as 'fear'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become angry and frustrated with myself within the belief that I am apparently 'stuck' in my experience of myself and being dissatisfied with who I have become and what I have done with my life so far, within accepting the fear of changing and standing up and daring to be more than I ever 'thought' I could be in my life.

Thus I walk myself within this application of supporting myself first to stop allowing fear to be the directive principle of me where I become 'paralyzed' and go into hesitation, procrastination, or excuses/justifications and instead realize that there is nothing to fear – not even fear itself – that all I require to do is breathe, bring myself back to the point of stability, and then walk myself practically AS the solution instead of walking as fear.

So now to apply this within my daily life – to stop this knowledge/information about fear and how we create it and what it does 'to' us, and begin applying my knowledge/information practically so that fear does nothing 'to' me because I am now standing within and as it, embracing it and bringing it back to self and allowing self to see behind the walls of fear and push for practical solutions in my life to in fact create me as a being that I no longer have to fear or distrust, but a being I am able to stand with and as within self-trust, self-respect, self-value, no matter what.

________________________________________________________________________________

Redefining Words

Here I am looking at the word “Resistance” as the experience within myself before facing/approaching a point where there is fear or where I am not allowing myself to change.

Dictionary Definition of “Resistance”

Resistance: re-sist-ance (noun)

1. The refusal to accept or comply with something: the attempt to prevent something by action or argument.
2. Armed or violent opposition

Okay so here within the word as how I have lived it within the point of resistance when facing self and self-change is how I will go into a stance of opposition to resist and not 'comply', wherein I see changing self as having to 'comply' as though I am giving up myself to an outside authority instead of seeing self change as a self directed movement.

So this 'stance' of 'resistance' is the part of me as ego, as self interest just like the protestors and political activists who take on the stance of 'opposing' and 'refusing to comply with' the system – instead of seeing the system for what it is and standing one and equal with and as the system to effectively change it.

So when I allow myself to experience this point of 'resistance' I am actually taking a stance to resist something that I am believing to be outside of myself upon which I have projected blame instead of realizing that I am one and equal to the point that I apparently 'resist' and that the more firm my 'stance' is within opposing this point, the harder and more difficult it will be to actually direct that point.

Thus here I see that 'resistance' is taking a 'stance' of resisting and opposing instead of integrating and standing one and equal, which only creates separation and further friction/conflict.

So when I see myself taking the stance of resisting and opposing I will stop myself and instead I will open up my stance and simply stand – realizing that fighting and trying to overthrow or overpower is only an act of separation and fear and will not lead to any real solution – and that when I am in a stance of resistance and opposition I am actually separating myself from the solution by making 'my way' and 'my point' and 'my bubble-reality' the only 'right one' and then I become combative and defensive and oppose anything that might challenge my 'stance' as 'resistance'.

So instead of taking the stance of resistance and opposition I will support myself to realize that I am not here to fight or oppose the 'system' – and will support myself by embracing and standing one and equal to and as the very system that I see requires to be directed within what is best for all. 

 

Featured Art Work by Damian Ledesma
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002274320770

Youtube:

http://www.youtube.com/user/Damianldsm

Blogs:

http://damianledesma.multiply.com/

How was I able to hear the desteni message?

How was I able to hear the desteni message?

Joe Kou

1/29/2012

I was able to hear the desteni message because the more I investigated and actually began to apply the common sense realizations shared by those who have been walking this process of self honesty and standing as what is best for all, the more I began to see for myself the extent of separation I have allowed myself to exist as, and the more I asked questions and participated in the discussions that were busy unfolding on the forums and as I watched the many videos and listened to the interviews, the realization became more and more clear – that these people actually know what they are talking about, and they are sharing a message that is vital for all of us to hear – the actual, practical, nitty gritty of how we got to the state that we currently exist in where we live our lives believing our thoughts and feelings to be real and never in fact actually being alive or even being aware of what life actually is.

The desteni message is not one of hope or airy-fairy magical solutions for a wold that is obviously headed toward assured destruction. The desteni message will not make you feel better about yourself or promise to make you wealthy. The desteni message will not give you peace of mind or assist you to find your perfect soul mate with whom you will live in bliss and love – because all of these things are the very illusions that we as humanity have sold ourselves to for generation after generation, keeping ourselves willfully blind to the actual world and the untold suffering that our lack of consideration and common sense has wrought.

I was able to hear the desteni message because for the first time I began to see people who actually cared – people who actually began to call it like it is – that this world is completely unacceptable and that we ourselves are responsible for it. For the first time, I began to hear people speak with an honesty that resonated so deeply that I was no longer able to hold onto my private and personal bubble of pretending that the world is just fine and that eventually I will be able to become wealthy and famous and have the life that I always thought I wanted. I was hearing self-honesty. I was hearing words spoken by beings who were not trying to put up a front or try to be liked – I was hearing words that were actually REAL – words that come directly from actual realization that has been lived and cross referenced. And these words were so different from anything else that I had heard – these words spoke of a world that I could see directly – a world that in fact did not match the empty promises and the picturesque scenes painted by religion or spirituality that had been sold and accepted as the “truth” for so long.

In the beginning it was rather painful and shocking – the extent to which I had isolated myself into my own mind and how much of this actual, physical world I had ignored and taken for granted – and the innumerable beings who exist upon this planet that I had not ever taken into consideration. Yet after the initial shock began to wear off I was able to unconditionally explore and see what the desteni message was about – because it was more than just a message – it was more than just a 'realization' or 'perspective' – because in hearing the message and actually understanding and becoming aware of what is being shared, one realizes that just 'hearing' the message is not enough – that we must do something about what we have done because we are the only ones who can.

As I continued participating and asking questions and applying myself within my own process to assist and support me to question this reality and develop a point of self-honesty and common sense, I was able to see that it is not all about 'doom and gloom' – that it is not just about showing us that we are destroying ourselves and our world and creating a hell on earth – because within hearing the message and realizing what is in fact going on, is also the very SOLUTION – is also the very point of correction that will allow us to not only take responsibility for ourselves, but also to radically change the way in which we create this reality – a radical new beginning that will allow us to, for the very first time in all existence, actually create a world that will be a heaven on earth.

For the first time ever, I began to see this world not only as being 'doomed' and 'fucked' beyond any sense of hope for a better future – I began to see that all that is here – all that is occurring in our world and in our lives – is showing us that we are in fact creators of this reality, and as we take back our responsibility for ourselves and restore our own point of self-creation, realizing that we are NOT slaves to our minds, to our fears, to our self-accepted beliefs, and that we are able to radically change ourselves through a process of self-honesty and self-change, it is not only possible, but inevitable, that this world and this reality come to the same realization – that we do not have to continue this hell on earth and that we can in fact bring heaven here.

For so long we have been 'lost' within our minds – lost to the fear and anxiety we all experience within a world in which we cannot trust each other – a world in which we abdicate ourselves and do not dare to stand up for what is best for all and instead become spiteful and manipulative in order to play the game of survival. For so long we accepted this as just 'the way it is' without understanding how exactly our minds work and how exactly we have created every single thing that is here, or seeing any kind of solution that would actually stand the test of time and not just end up as another empty promise.

But now, we have a real shot – a once in an existence shot – to forever change what is here so that we create a world that is at all times based on the principle of what is best for all – a world that will no longer reflect the self destruction and the pain we have carried inside ourselves – as we, one by one, realize the lies and illusions that have been placed before us and begin to see through the veils, one by one we will hear the desteni message as so many already are – and one by one we will seek and find the actual solution for this world, for this reality, for this existence.

Now, I walk a process in which I am taking myself back and restoring again my own point of self-creation – now I walk a process to undo the harm and pain I have caused myself and others and allowed within this world. I have heard the desteni message and it is one that cannot be unheard. This will be the most difficult thing I have ever done – the point of actually facing myself and all of my demons – and within this process I will undoubtedly face challenges and hardships – but I will also stand up – I will also, step by step, breath by breath, sort out the mess in me and in so doing sort out the mess in my world and in my relationships... and I will do this while walking with others who have also heard the desteni message.

So if you are new to desteni – if you have reservations or fears or doubts – or if you had heard the message but have not fully allowed yourself to make the commitment of walking this process, I suggest you not hesitate and do not let the fears and limitations of the mind hold you back from being able to stand up and reclaim your point of self-creation and self-expression – to stand up as the life that you have always been and walk with those who dare to stop the abuse within ourselves and within our world. 

Featured Art Work by Damian Ledesma
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002274320770

Youtube:

http://www.youtube.com/user/Damianldsm

Blogs:

http://damianledesma.multiply.com/

Letting Go - Again!

Letting Go - Again!

Joe Kou

1/20/2012

Today in chat I faced a point of reaction within seeing a name attached to the name of another, indicating that the two beings were sharing the same computer and within me I realized that I had points of relationship that I have not let go of or purified within me.

The context of this is that I have shared moments of my life with this other being, and that I am still holding on to old patterns of relationship based on memories and energy – the primary point of which being guilt/shame.

This is a point that is similar (if not the same) as what I had faced before when my first agreement partner and I ended and there was a period in which I still experienced jealousy and had points where I would go into an energetic reaction of shame and guilt which would become actually spiteful and nasty, wherein I would not want the previous partner to 'be well' because that would indicate that in fact I no longer had power or influence and that the former partner has 'let go of me' – and within the ending and cutting of that relationship thread I was left with myself – and I was not okay with myself – and in that moment in my life I had not fully given myself the opportunity to recover and mend and correct myself and had instead walked into another agreement/relationship.

The reaction I faced today carried the same kind of signature – where within myself I experienced a sudden sinking – like a support that was holding up a part of me suddenly gave way and I felt a 'falling' sensation within myself – like a momentary hopelessness or a sudden realization that something has 'changed'.

Placing the experience here again what comes up is the sense that I would no longer be able to 'work out' the issues that I not not resolved within myself, which I believed I required to 'work out' with this other being – I was holding on to an idea and belief that I required to be forgiven by this other being and within this is the hidden agenda – the self interest point – of wanting 'another chance' to walk with this other being – 'another chance' to redefine and change me with this other being – but here what I am implying is that I will not change unless I am with this other being – what I am implying is that my change is conditional and based on wanting to have the experience and relationship associated with this other being, which does not take into consideration the other being at all.

It does not matter whether this other being is now walking with another partner – what I am responsible for is who I am and what I will accept and allow within and as me in relation to this point – do I change if this being is in fact walking another agreement? How am I defining and living the word 'agreement' within myself and how have I designed me in relation to this word, such that I am now experiencing these reactions within me?

So firstly I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold on to 'hope' of wanting to be forgiven and experience a point of 'acceptance' from the other being which is in fact a self-manipulation to not actually face me and to instead seek ways to justify and validate me as how I am currently existing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am not able to change and embrace me and embody/become my own point of intimacy and self-agreement and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself and place myself as inferior to those whom I see or believe to be walking partnerships and agreements.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want, desire, and wish to walk again with this other being based on the idea/belief that it must be with this specific being for me to work out points that in fact have nothing to do with this being at all – and that in fact what I require to work out-resolve is and has always been within me – thus whether this other being walks an agreement with another is irrelevant to my own point of self-responsibility – which is to stop within myself my own points of dishonesty and separation.

The point of 'agreement', as I have previously defined it, has been within the confines and context of 'relationships' and still carried that element of being with a specific 'other' that would support one in one's walking – but here I did not specify and clarify how to effectively and practically walk that point of 'supporting another' – and I also did not stop within myself the point of letting go of what I want and letting go of desiring my own special experiences and wanting a certain kind of relationship – I did not understand and embrace the point that we are all here and that the context and starting point of an agreement must not be based on personality or ego and must in fact support both beings in being able to expand and support all life as one as equal.

Thus when I see and notice myself experiencing that point of the sudden 'sinking' sensation within me I will stop and support myself first by breathing and not allowing myself to feed the point. I will bring myself back here and then look at the point again and realize that if my reaction is triggered by another or by the idea/belief of agreement then I am still holding on to a self definition that is not in fact supporting me and is not in fact being lived – thus the reaction experience is an indicator for me of where I am still limiting myself to beliefs.

For myself I see that the point of an agreement must be what is best for all – it must be a platform from which two or more beings are able to support one another to be able to stand and support all life – the 'agreement' is not to form separate worlds or separate, private, special relationships and special experiences that exclude, but rather assist and expand both beings to be ever more inclusive in their ability to express and support the life that we all are.

As far as where I am within my process at the moment I see and realize that I have yet to walk through and complete the agreement course and that at the moment I am still facing points within myself that must be addressed and corrected before I am able to consider walking an agreement with another – and within this I see that allowing myself to become distracted and go off into flights of fancy about wanting to establish an agreement without being clear within myself as to where I stand is not acceptable.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted or allowed myself to see that I experienced the point of 'loss' and disappointment within myself when considering that a previous partner may now be walking with somebody 'new' and that I am judging myself and holding a grudge against myself for my past and blaming myself for having 'failed' and to further feed the point by believing that because I am not now walking a point of agreement with another that I am in fact 'invalid'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to based 'validity' on whether or not I am walking an agreement and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to value agreements more than my own standing – implying that my own standing is not actually me, standing but based on whether or not I am able to manipulate another with my standing so that I am able to then experience myself within the idea of an 'agreement'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the backchat and self-judgment within the belief that the previous partner has done something 'to' me within my idea and belief that they have now entered another agreement and within doing so are disregarding me when in fact I am the one disregarding myself and judging myself and holding a grudge against myself for my own unresolved points.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to not face this point and to believe that I can simply suppress this point and not have to actually investigate me and what I am participating in and how my participation effects not only myself but the world that I am co-creating.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the shame and guilt within myself for having exposed myself and failed with my previous partner in walking an agreement together is real and that the shame and guilt are greater than me instead of realizing that this is simply self manipulation to not in fact change me and also a form of self abuse so that I never push myself to change and actually be able to walk an effective agreement.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to 'settle' and compromise myself within the idea/belief that I am apparently unable to walk effective agreements instead of taking the points back to myself so that in can in fact – in real time – change me and take responsibility for me and walk an effective agreement having established an effective self-agreement.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I must rush in to the first opportunity I see to enter an agreement without having established within myself the foundation and support to walk my own process effectively, wherein I am certain that I will not compromise myself or limit myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to 'take it personally' and to feed further reactions within myself when seeing that my previous partners have or possibly/eventually will have other partners to walk with and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that there is 'something wrong with me' instead of investigating self to see how it is that I have designed myself in such a way that I am not now walking an effective agreement.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the excuse of guilt/shame to not fully investigate who I have been and how I have walked my previous experiences with agreements and to correct myself and actually forgive myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to correct my past by walking the agreement again with a previous partner instead of realizing that what requires to be corrected is not the relationship or the memories and experiences but rather it is to correct what is in fact HERE as my current living and participation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become angry at myself and to judge and blame myself for my past and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become spiteful within myself for not having the ability to 'take back' or 'undo' what has been done within the past, instead of realizing that if in fact we were able to 'take back' or 'undo' the past then we would not in fact learn to be self-honest and we would not in fact be able to be held accountable – and in this realization, instead of becoming angry with myself for what I have done in the past I allow myself to see my 'past' as a point of accountability upon which I am able to reflect and adjust and forgive, realizing that in that moment I was not HERE and as a result allowed myself to be directed by energy and by the mind which did not take all points into consideration and from that mistake I am able to learn and adjust myself – thus it is pointless to judge myself and become angry at myself because I cannot change my past because this blinds me to being able to change my present.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge and condemn myself and abuse myself within backchat as regret and memories and self-talk that does not support me to change me HERE but only serves to re-MIND me of my mistakes and to further associate myself with my past as mistakes and to create a general 'stance' within me and a general self-design of 'a being made of mistakes' – which if I do not change and correct will simply keep making mistakes and keep living in and as the past as regret and shame and guilt.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear letting go of my shame and guilt because within shame and guilt I am apparently able to hide from myself and not actually see and investigate myself as the past and as the moments in my life in which I have experienced pain or suppressed myself out of fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow myself to be directed by shame and guilt instead of practically assisting myself to move and breathe through such points and realize that I am here and that I do not require to judge and hate myself – and to realize that the self judgment and self hatred are only means to manipulate others further in my attempt to not actually take responsibility for self change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the excuse of 'I am ashamed' and 'I have done terrible things and feel bad about it' as excuses and justifications which only serve my design as 'ego' and as a point of separation and abdication – I see and realize that I cannot be trusted if I am not willing to fully take responsibility and stop lying and hiding within myself – and within this to realize that there is really NOTHING personal – that we are all in this together – that we must all stand together if we are to really sort out the mess of our existence because we are each creating it.

So here correcting myself within seeing the point that it does not matter whom my previous partners now decide to walk with because it has nothing to do with them in fact – but to do with who I am and what I am participating in as part of my own self-agreement – and within this to realize that agreements are not special – they are not about some beings getting to have a special experience at the exclusion of others – that beings walking together are simply beings walking together and anything else is my own ego – my own 'self godliness' wanting for others to abide by my rules without considering what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, in allowing myself to hide behind shame and regret and to define myself as a 'failure' within my walking, abdicate my self-responsibility and to not include MYSELF as life within what is best for all – wherein I adopted a 'martyr' persona out of righteousness and ego that made the claim 'I will allow myself to suffer and not support myself and simply accept that I cannot be trusted and cannot walk with another so woe is me' as a manipulation and self abdication point.

I see the common sense and practicality of walking an effective agreement with another and I see that I am responsible for my own self-agreement – thus I stop beating myself up and stop tormenting myself with the 'past' as judgment and resentment and shame and guilt and realize that I am not a 'defective' person and that it is up to me to create myself and direct my world so that I am able to walk effectively – and should the opportunity arise to walk an agreement with another I will not allow myself to be limited by my backchat and self-doubt.

I stand here, grateful for and as the 'past' and I accept my responsibility to stop being hard on myself and stop defining myself by my failures because I see and realize that doing so will only keep me dissatisfied with self and will only lead me to become progressively spiteful to and toward others as myself who are walking this process one and equal.

What I see here is that relationships are important in this world - and that it will be through the purification and re-alignment of our relationships that will facilitate the changes that we need in this world - and this begins with the relationships within ourselves. There is great support for this development of 'agreements' that begins with self and then extends into our world as we change ourselves and become the living change one by one - until we stand together in ONE relationship based on what is best for ALL LIFE - and for those ready to begin this process of change I suggest starting with the interview series by Alice Bailey on Relationships and Agreements found HERE at the EQAFE store.

Do You DARE to End Fear in One BREATH?

A destonian asked me today “Do you dare to end fear in one single breath?”

This question 'struck' me because I wanted to say yes. I wanted to say “I dare to end fear in one single breath” but within me there was the immediate hesitation, and within that moment I said “I want to say yes, but self honestly the answer is no”.

Why did I say that? Why did I allow that to be the answer that I live and exist as? Who am I in relation to ending fear in one breath?

The first point that comes up is memories and experiences wherein I have made declarations and promises before but did not live up to them or ended up giving up on them – so the first reaction within me was the thought that it would be 'best' to not make such statements when I am not absolutely certain that I can live up to them because then I would be lying to myself and will only create a bigger time loop for me to walk through – but really this is still just limitation and excuses to remain limited. This is still the same design of enslavement that has kept humanity excusing itself from actually changing and doing whatever it takes, no matter what, to stand up and take responsibility.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to the words “Do you dare to end fear in one single breath?” within separating myself from those words as life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear living the statement of ending fear in one single breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify not ending fear in one breath due to not taking self responsibility for what self is accepting and allowing to exist within self.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not living up to the statement of “I dare to end fear in one breath”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to remain within the limitation of fearing to end fear in one breath so that I can continue to justify my position of limitation and continue to remain 'powerless' and pretend that I am not responsible for my self-creation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist changing me and walking the physical correction of me to stop the patterns and experiences and memories that I have existed as because such patterns and experiences and memories are not real in fact and will only keep me enslaved to living in my past and trying to fix my past instead of being here and realizing that here, in each breath, is the opportunity to change me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed by the fear of failure and projecting failure into my future within my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am not able to end fear in one breath because apparently fear is who and what I stand equal to and thus resist letting go of because then I would actually be letting go of a part of me which provided me with a way of not actually dealing with my life because I would always be able to hide behind fear as a distraction and excuse.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear ending fear in one breath because if I did not have fear and did not accept or allow fear within me, there would no longer be any more excuses for me to not live fully in each moment and actually stand up within myself and my world and do whatever I can to make a difference because then I would no longer fear failure, fear opinions of others, fear my past, or fear my own projected limitations.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to 'talk' myself out of being able to stop fear in one breath due to fear of not being able to stop fear in one breath and thus have to experience a fall within myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to associate stopping fear in one breath with the thought and belief that it is not possible because this is just 'the way I am' because this is not in fact so and is only a self-belief.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live as me the statement “I dare to end fear in one breath”.

When I notice myself facing a point of fear within myself I will stop and bring myself back HERE and live the statement of “I dare to end fear in one breath” and I will move myself to immediately correct myself and work with the situation that I find myself in without fear or anxiety and will not accept or allow fear or anxiety within me and in this I will live as me the statement “I dare to stop fear in one breath”.

When I notice myself participating in fear within myself I will stop because I realize that I am the one who creates the fear and I am the one who allows the fear to have an 'effect' on me, so within that realization I do not require to experience or allow fear to direct who I am, because the fear will only protect my limitations.

The next point I noticed within me was the 'eternity' aspect of making a statement such as “I dare to end fear in one single breath” - such a statement is a 'forever' statement that can only be true if it stands the test of time, and within this was intimidation and fear because forever according to the mind is a very long 'time' and in that time, I accepted and allowed myself to project backdoors and already anticipate that I will indeed continue to fall to fear and experience the disappointment of not living up to my words. So already, I have excused and justified why I am not able to make a statement and stand by it for eternity.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear making statements that stand for eternity because I have not trusted myself or developed within myself sufficient self trust and discipline to stand within and as the statement of “I dare to end fear in one breath”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear making and living the statement of “I dare to end fear in one breath” only to be faced with a fear and not live up to the statement and thus diminish my point of self trust.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deny myself the opportunity to live the statement of “I dare to end fear in one breath” within holding on to my current ideas and beliefs and limitations and believing that I am not able to change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear making eternal statements because I fear that I do not have the sufficient self will and self discipline to make a decision that lasts for eternity.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear eternity because I fear repeating the mistakes of my past and thus project those mistakes into the future, which I then compound when considering the span of “eternity” as an infinite 'future' in which I am able to make many many more mistakes and failures.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear making the same mistakes from my past because there are still points within myself and my environment which I have not transcended and within this I fear that I will not be able to stand eternally within a point because I have not yet transcended what I am currently facing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the excuse of “I do not trust myself now so I cannot ever trust myself” as a way to abdicate myself and deny my responsibility to change self and direct self.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I make the statement of “I dare to stop fear in one breath” then it means that I must, from now on, never experience fear again – instead of realizing that it is not about never experiencing fear, but to stop fear in one breath each and every time from now into eternity until fear no more exists within me or my world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that making and living the statement of “I dare to stop fear in one breath” means that in one breath I must forevermore never experience or have to face fear again, and within that expectation I already talk myself out of being able to practically live the statement “I dare to stop fear in one breath”.

I realize that “time” according to the mind is not real and that 'eternity' does not exist as some vast expanse outside of myself projected forever into the future, but is in fact already HERE. Thus who I am now, and what I am currently accepting of myself in this moment, is the self that is being lived into eternity – which means that who I am as the current accumulation of 'me' is the 'me' that will exist within and as eternity, and that in each moment I am responsible for ensuring that who I am and what I accumulate as me is what is best for all, because then what is best for all is what I am contributing and existing as for 'eternity'.

So within this, I live the word 'eternity' not as some future outside of myself that goes on forever and ever separate from me, over which I apparently have no influence, but rather 'eternity' is that which is already here, that which is the infinite moment – thus to live a statement for eternity is to live a statement in each moment – in each breath – which can only be done breath by breath. And as I push and will myself to live breath by breath and ensure that I am living fully and in self honesty in each breath, one after the other, one forgiving and letting go of the other and not worrying about the 'next' breath that is not yet here, I will be able to live any statement into the eternity that is HERE.

The next point I saw within this was that at the moment there are still points within myself and my environment where I am not the directive principle of me, where I still allow myself to participate in fear, still allow myself to remain enslaved to the mind and abdicate myself to a position in which I simply 'let life happen to me' and 'go along for the ride' instead of taking the wheel for myself and directing myself in each moment and ensuring that my actions are always accumulating within what is best for all. It is in such places where backchat and self-defeat reside – the corners where I have abdicated myself the most – the people and situations that I have always dreaded and feared – are the places that I must walk through and stand within to forevermore establish beyond the shadow of any doubt that I indeed remain and that I will not fall, and that the words that I speak as declarations of self will stand the test of time. I realize this because if there is anything within me that I am fearing to direct, fearing to face, fearing to take responsibility for, then I am not actually trustworthy because I will continue to abdicate myself and compromise my self honesty in order to remain 'safe' from that fear – thus any statement of self cannot actually be trusted if self is not trustworthy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist taking responsibility for who I am and what I am accepting and allowing myself to participate in in relation to my current situation and environment because of believing that I am not able to stand up and change within this specific circumstance and thus should simply allow myself to go along 'for the ride' and allow myself to be moved by consequence instead of self direction.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge and resist my current situation instead of realizing that this is the exact situation behind which I have hidden many of my fears and limitation and that it is only my mind as ego and self interest that is telling me that I should find a way 'out' so as not to have to actually face myself and what I have created.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the environment and the people in my life right now within separation and comparison, and within this, fear to stand up and direct myself because of fearing that I may fail and make things worse for me if I “rock the boat”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, for my entire existence, not trust or value myself enough to stand up and change myself and face all of the points where I abdicate myself and give myself over to fear and limitation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am able to just 'get on with life' and allow life to 'sort things out' on my behalf without having to face manifested consequences and have to take responsibility for myself and my world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist and fear living the statement “I dare to stop fear in one breath” because that would mean I would have to no longer participate in the excuses and fears and limitations that I currently experience in my world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to to resist facing who I am and who I have designed myself to be and taking the responsibility to change me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to 'wait' until I have the answer or wait until some better solution presents itself before I take the initiative to direct myself and my world.

I stop allowing myself to procrastinate and complain and argue in regards to my life and my circumstances because I realize that I am alone responsible for how I am experiencing myself within my reality and that I am responsible for what I am accepting and allowing within myself, which manifests within my world as the reflection of me.

I stop complaining and arguing about my life and my situation within my backchat to myself within getting myself into a state of self defeat and depression because I see and realize that this will only further enslave me to my experiences and will not assist or support me in changing my world or my experience.

When I see myself throwing myself a 'pity party' I will stop, bring myself to a complete and total stop and realize that such pity parties will only prolong my experience and will only lead to more polarity as I shift from the negative into the positive only to start all over again as I feed the energetic addictions of my design, believing that this is what it is to be 'alive'. Thus I will stop and realize that throwing myself a pity party and not supporting myself and simply resorting to whining and complaining within myself as backchat or to others in my world will only feed that exact experience further, and will actually support that very experience within this world because I am standing one and equal to it.

When I see myself complaining and whining instead of directing myself and walking the solution as myself, I stop and realize that I am only arguing for my limitations and that I am only enslaving myself further to consequence instead of being self-directed. Thus I will myself to STOP whining and complaining about my life and my situation and instead investigate how I created this current situation and how I am responsible for directing it within what is best for all – thus giving myself back to myself, equalizing myself to “God” by forgiving myself and creating myself 'anew'.

Thus I now live the statement of “I dare to stop fear in one breath” instead of “I do not dare to stop fear in one breath” - breath by breath I will live this and I will continue to bring myself back to breath each time I 'lose' myself, until I am here, as the eternal statement “I dare to stop fear in one breath”.

I am grateful for this fellow destonian for bringing up this question - and I encourage all to ask themselves as well. 

SF on Discipline and Consistency - Building A Better Self

I am currently working with the point of consistency and discipline within directing myself and the time that I have in my day and a few fascinating points have come up within this.

What is fascinating here is that discipline and consistency are actually the very tools that one must master in order to be successful in anything that one takes on, and the more disciplined and consistent one is, the more effective one becomes in manifesting the outcome that they would like – and this is not to be compared to the Law of Attraction theory of 'focus on what you want' and the Universe will simply manifest it for you by attracting your desires into your reality based on your thoughts – here I am speaking about the practical application of discipline and consistency and how that is a part of our self-creation.

What I am beginning to understand and apply for myself is the realization that it is through accumulation that we create who we are as well as influence our environment and the world that we participate in. This reality is based on a kind of 'input/output' programming where the things one participates in constantly and continuously will be most likely to manifest – and this is true for the words that we speak to ourselves in our backchat as well – because if one is constantly and continuously participating in diminishing and self dishonest back-chat, what is in fact happening is that one is already scripting self and accumulating the points where the back-chat will actually manifest and play out in one's world and ones reality because it is the 'reality' that one has actually accepted within self, as the back-chat.

A point that I have also come to realize is that there is no hiding from back-chat because that which we are accepting and allowing within ourselves WILL manifest within our world in one way or another so that we face the point of our self-creation, and we take responsibility for what we are doing to ourselves and others – so when it comes to back-chat I have had resistances to working with the actual nature of me, the actual nastiness that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in and try to hide in my secret mind where apparently nobody can 'find out' but really there is no point to trying to hide it because any fear of judgment from others is actually my own judgment of myself, my own guilt and shame of myself for having allowed such participation within me in spite of self-honesty – and thus to judge myself or try to suppress these points further or try to 'cope' with it just won't work because I am still HERE and I am with me and I cannot in fact lie to myself because self is always aware even when self is being deliberately dishonest with self, self is aware – and in that awareness is the point where self must and will eventually stand either by self direction or by manifested consequence.

So to bring this point back in relation to resistances to discipline and consistency.

Firstly I see that I have held on to ideas and conceptions about discipline and consistency that do not actually support me in how I would like to live those words as me.

Firstly, discipline – I have attached the idea of being 'punished' and being 'forced' to do something against my will, something that I do not want to do and do not agree with doing, but am being made to do it by an authority that has power over me, which I resent and want to 'fight back against', so I begrudgingly do the thing that I am being forced to do because I am being 'disciplined' and have to trust the other being that this is 'for my own good' – this of course coming from experiences in my childhood in relation to my mother and how I experienced her as 'disciplining me' when I would be scolded or made to correct myself in order to fit what my mother perceived to be the correct thing for me to do in terms of what she believed was best for me.

So here already 'discipline' has a negative connotation and a separation from self in terms of believing that 'discipline' is something that I must do in order to please/appease something outside of myself – such as another person, a group, or an ideal separate from me as who I am – and here is where resistance plays a role, where I am wanting to 'fight back' and wanting to 'assert myself' within trying to defend myself and protect the current ideas and definitions I have about myself in fear that I am being 'challenged unfairly' and being 'forced' to do something I don't want to do and not trusting self within doing what is actually best for all and for myself, and fearing that what I am trying to 'discipline' myself for is not in fact best for me.

So here is the point where backchat comes up about 'discipline' – where I go into excuses and justifications within ego and wanting to defend why it is 'not necessary' to apply myself within discipline on a point that I am working with – such as “That's not going to work anyway” or “I'll get to it when I'm ready – I'm not ready right now and I have other things I'd rather do”, or “I will allow myself this time to not stick to discipline and instead do what I desire to do and then I will apply myself within discipline again, after I have indulged myself”.

So when I participate in these points and allow myself to give in to this backchat, I am actually already participating in a form of 'discipline' – where I as my mind/ego/self interest/personality apply the 'discipline' of not standing up and stopping my participation within thoughts/energy as desires and preferences – and the more I allow this to continue, the more disciplined my ego and backchat becomes – the more persistent and persuasive it becomes, because the backdoor has been left WIDE OPEN for such points to possess me and compromise me as the standing of myself within self direction. So here already I am quite 'disciplined' through the process of accumulating instances where I have allowed my backchat and desires to direct me instead of applying myself, stopping myself, correcting myself, and establishing myself as the directive principle of me within awareness and self honesty.

The same can be said of consistency – which I would define to be the actual practical application and participation of that which one is disciplined within. So if my 'discipline' is to allow my backchat and desires to control and direct me, then my consistency would be that of compromising myself and diminishing my self trust.

It is interesting here to look at 'consistency' because it can also relate to that which one 'consists' of – meaning that which one is 'made of' in terms of substance – one's 'consistency' can be see as a reflection/description of one's 'build' and 'design' in the same way that physical materials have a certain 'consistency' in terms of their qualities – the same is true here of the consistency that we build ourselves and create ourselves from – thus where one applies discipline is where one has consistency, and that consistency is the building blocks of who we are as our 'substance', what we 'consist of' as the self that we are creating.

Self Forgiveness on “Discipline”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the point of discipline by defining it through ideas, pictures, opinions, and experiences from my childhood.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist discipline within believing that it is something that is difficult and something that I should be wary of within the fear of being made to do something that I do not agree with and do not see the benefit of.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that which I do not see immediate results for, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to constantly and continuously fear the future and project fears into possible futures which I end up walking into.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that which I do not immediately see and know all the answers to because I have not accepted and allowed myself to trust myself and remain here with myself no matter what.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist discipline within the fear that it might not work out and I will have wasted all of my time within disciplining myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from discipline within attaching the application of discipline to memories, experiences, and beliefs related to self doubt and wasting time, wherein I project failure before I have actually, fully applied myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not live and apply the realization that self creation is a process of accumulation and within this, self must be consistent and disciplined without fearing the result because the fearing of not seeing the result is accumulating the fear of not seeing results, which creates that exact experience within my world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear/resist discipline because I have held on to memories and ideas about myself having given up before on many things and not having had the discipline to keep on going no matter what, and fearing that this is who I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist discipline because I want a guarantee that I will succeed and when I do not see instant results or change, I become discouraged because I have not developed sufficient self trust and self value, and thus place value within 'success' as something outside of me to be attained once I have applied “discipline”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist discipline because it does not stimulate me within energy of 'instant gratification' and 'reward' which I have become addicted to and have defined myself by, wherein if I am not experiencing the stimulation of being rewarded with something, then I go into an energetic withdrawal and seek the next point of instant gratification to feed my addiction to energy instead of accumulating for myself a point of stability within discipline that is not based on polarity.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear discipline because it I have defined myself as being unaccountable and unreliable and fear to face that point within myself due to accumulated shame and guilt, which are only mechanisms of my ego wanting to defend itself and not have to change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the change of myself that will come with discipline.

I STOP. When I see/notice myself distracting myself and not applying myself within discipline for the points that I set for myself to participate in and accumulate for myself such as writing, studying, or pushing myself to correct and change a pattern within me, I will immediately live and apply the correction and complete the task that I set for myself instead of allowing myself to be further directed by and thus further accumulate backchat.

I realize and understand that when I am not disciplined and directing myself, I am allowing myself to be directed by preprogrammed stimulation and that such stimulation will only lead me to cycles of positive and negative while constantly diminishing myself as life as who I am, and within this my self trust diminishes because I am then living and reacting to experiences and memories and emotions and believing them to be me instead of actually taking responsibility for myself and changing and living for real.

I will not judge myself or participate in backchat of self diminishment or self doubt as I walk this point of discipline because I see and understand that this requires self trust and requires consistent application within time – and that I will have to face and walk through the times that I did not trust myself and stand up from where I am instead of judging myself and believing that I am 'failing' because I do not see instant results or instant change.

Thus discipline is not something that is a punishment that I must begrudgingly do while secretly not actually embracing the discipline as myself and waiting for the opportune moment to rebel and resist and find a 'way out' of having to 'do' the discipline as something separate from me.

Discipline is me, establishing myself, building a foundation upon which to further specify and refine the creation of me – thus I embrace discipline as a tool and method to structurally change me as the foundations I have previously accepted and replace that which did not support and serve me to be and become a being that stands eternal within self honesty and what is best for all, to be able to walk here one and equal and have no shame or guilt and share in the opportunity that is here as physical, as the potential of heaven on earth.

Self Forgiveness on “Consistency”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deceive myself within the belief that I am not aware of what I am doing and thus am not required to be responsible for my consistency, which is that which I 'consist' of, which is a result of the things that I consistently participate in and allow within myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to consistently participate in and allow backchat as self-doubt and self-judgment which has become part of the foundation upon which I have built my current character and 'consistent-cy'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, within resisting discipline and consistent application of self correction, instead allow for myself to accumulate the consistency of diminishment and untrustworthiness wherein I do not take responsibility for my self accepted flaws and limitations and instead attempt to cope with and 'live with' such flaws and limitations, and to become nasty and spiteful to those in my world that stand to challenge and these foundations and support me and encourage me to change and let go.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accumulate the consistency of not caring about myself and thus not caring about others within the justification of “I do not deserve life so I do not care of others deserve it too because I don't have a stake in being here, so I do not have a stake in the responsibility that is here for all, one and equal”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accumulate the consistency of not caring about those who stand to change themselves and this world within having participated and accumulated the point of 'giving up' on myself instead of realizing that I simply have not embraced myself as life and have not stood equal to the potential that is here to change self and stand up.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accumulate the consistency of finding excuses and deliberately distracting myself from facing myself and establishing myself within self trust and self honesty due to fearing my own past and fearing my own fear, which is fearing my own self.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear myself within not understanding that I have created this fear within thoughts and beliefs and thus I do not require to ever fear because I am able to stop and delete these constructs within me, and live the realization that fear is not supportive and will never actually assist me and will only create that which I fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that consistency is key to self creation and that I am the manifested outcome and result of my consistency, and to deliberately not take responsibility for what I am consisting of within that perspective.

I stop. I take responsibility for myself within my consistent-cy because I see and realize that what I consistently accept and allow and participate in becomes the actual consistency of who and what I am and what my world will be as a result of that.

I will myself to be consistent in the points that will strengthen me within self trust and the resolve to do whatever it takes to stand within self honesty and to do at all times what is best for all.

I will myself to be aware of that which I am currently consisting of, in terms of that which I am currently consistently participating in, which will by accumulation define and specify the effectiveness and result of me as self creation because I realize and understand that my consistency is my foundation and if my foundation is lacking, then my self creation will not have proper support to be everything that I can be. 

Photo by Joana Ferreira
Edited by Marlen Vargas Del Razo

Desteni I Process

Great Change Is Only Possible TOGETHER

Yesterday at work I found myself in a situation where I required to get some very large items moved from one place to another, and it was clear that I was not going to be able to do it by myself - yet I was tasked with getting this particular project done, so I had to find a way. The solution was clear - get some help!


I realized how simple and effective it is to simply WORK TOGETHER.But why is this a realization instead of being plain and simple common sense?




The points that came up within me had to do with the fact that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within competition and desire to achieve as an individual instead of being humble with my abilities and setting aside my ego in order to get done what requires to be done. So in that moment of seeing that I was not capable of moving all of the large, heavy items to where they needed to be, and that this was a task that was time-sensitive and required to be done so that other projects can continue, I had to face myself within the point of fearing that by asking for help, fearing others would see me or judge me as ineffective or incompetent, fearing that others would lose respect for me as a worker if i had to ask for assistance on a task that I was assigned, fear of disappointing my superiors who trusted the task to me, fear that I would not be given as much work in the future or that I would be excluded from consideration of further responsibilities, and fearing that others would judge me as weak - both in terms of physical strength as well as general competency in regards to completing tasks - all of which come from the mind/ego - the ghost in my head that speaks to me and informs me of who I am supposed to be in order to continue existing as a mind-consciousness-system instead of being the directive principle of myself and determining for myself what I will accept and allow and what I will participate in. This is the separation that exists within myself which allows for self-defeating back-chat as ego - not wanting to appear 'weak' to others so that I can continue to compete - instead of realizing that the most practical solution and what is best for all is to drop the ego and simply work with what is here in a way that considers everyone equally - thus competition becomes irrelevant - and counter productive to achieving the result of what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist asking for help because I want to be seen as effective by others at work.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself by my physical strength and stature in comparison to others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I must compete and be seen as strong and competent at work. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am the definition of a 'male' and that within such a definition I must be strong and able to take on anything by myself. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear having people judge me for being weak. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to consider trying to get things done on my own, my own way, instead of facing my own point of shame and embarrassment within judging myself for not being the definition of a 'male' as portrayed within society and media. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I ask for help and assistance then I am weak and should not be considered worthy.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am in competition with others and that others must not see me as weak. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that asking for help and assistance are indications of weakness instead of it simply being one person asking for help and assistance from others. 


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for not being able to complete the project alone.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself to unrealistic standards of what I think a male is supposed to be or act like. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the thought of getting it done by myself so as not to have others come to help me despite knowing that I am not able to complete the task on my own.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that my manager would judge me for not finishing a task that he assigned to me. 


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as my ego and as a person who 'does not ask for help', which is really just to keep me limited within my self-definitions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, within self-interest and fear of facing myself within humbleness, compromise myself by resisting to use the course of action that is best for all so that I may remain in my own point of personal achievement. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I as the person "Joe Kou" am special and deserve special consideration that supersedes that which is best for all, and within this i forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist getting help and making sure my task is completed due to not wanting to humble myself.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attempt to protect myself from the judgment of others when in fact it is always Self-Judgment.


I STOP. I am not here to participate within limitations and fears. I am here to sort out the mess of this 
existence and it begins with sorting out the mess within myself. I stand HERE as the directive principle of me and I will myself to make my decisions based on what is BEST FOR ALL.


I will myself and insist that when I notice myself in such points of not wanting to humble myself and desiring to present an image of effectiveness when in fact I am not, within self honesty, capable of doing something without support - bring myself back HERE and ask myself the question "Is this best for all?" and "Am I being the example I wish others will follow?" And I will direct myself accordingly instead of giving energy to thoughts within back-chat and ego.
  
This led me to investigating the bigger picture of reality - how we are so separated and in general uncooperative amongst each other as human beings who must coexist on this planet along with the ecosystems, the animals, the plants, the insects, the bacteria, the atmosphere, etc. Humanity has separated itself into billions of 'individuals' with individual needs, wants, egos, desires; which for the most part will vary from one individual to another - yet the vast majority of those wants, needs, and desires have nothing at all to do with practical reality and are based only on the idea of the 'individual' who must strive to get the things they want because everyone else is apparently doing the same. Instead of cooperation and naturally seeking ways to do things more effectively as a group, we are trained to do things at the expense of others so that we can attain our own sense of self-satisfaction, competing with each other and only cooperating when we personally have something to gain from that cooperation, or if failure to cooperate undermines our standing and status among others.


In looking at the way in which the guys who came to my assistance worked together as a single unit, I saw how much more effective all things would be if all people were able to unconditionally cooperate, and indeed how limiting and backwards it is to constantly be focused on individual achievement or competition against others when ALL could benefit so much more from cooperation. A task that would have not been possible for any of us to achieve alone was accomplished in a matter of minutes - with minimal strain - and all were got the benefit of having the task done and other projects being able to move forward in a speedy manner. When we stop competing, when we stop trying to be the best, and realize it is not just about our own victories and accomplishments and our own sense of self-satisfaction, we are able to achieve and realize far greater rewards - rewards that extend beyond the mind's concept of 'self' and ripples out into existence.

Imagine a world in which all people saw each other as equals and all participated within unconditional cooperation in order to do things that would not be possible otherwise - imagine what great accomplishments we could all achieve together when we no longer have competition, abuse, separation, superiority, inferiority, fear, and distrust between each other as equal co-creators of this world in partnership with all that is here.

It is up to us to stop the fear and separation and ego within ourselves so that we can stand equal to all who are here and to move together, as one, placing our individual skills and abilities to their greatest utility in realizing a world that is best for all.

BEGIN YOUR JOURNEY

Thus I stand for, support, and apply for myself the Desteni "I" Process, through which we are able to give ourselves the tools, the education, and the support of an entire community of Destonians to forever change ourselves and to dare to stand up in this world and say "Heaven on Earth is not a dream - I insist that it becomes real and I will not stop until all are equally free and equally supported, and I stand as an example of that change."

Through the Desteni "I" Process we change the world - beginning with the world within ourselves, as well as provide ourselves with an opportunity to make an income by living and demonstrating the tools offered in the Desteni "I" Process, thus freeing ourselves from limitations as well as financial burden. Begin your process by visiting the links for more information on how it all works - and contact me when you are ready to begin freeing yourself as well as learning how to support others as well, or if you have any questions about the Desteni "I" Process. Let's walk together into a better world.