As things progress it is becoming clearer to me that there is no "in between". There can be no saving grace by having "good intentions". There is no leeway for "hoping" for the best. There is no extra credit to be earned for having the right attitude.
You are either IN or OUT. Which ultimately means things will get very very ugly very very soon.
I have been on the fence for too long. The time is fast approaching for me to take my stand one way or another. Either I am willing to give up my life and my self interest or I am not.
For too long I have considered myself unworthy of life. To such a degree that I effectively remove myself from being able to live effectively and practically. To such a degree that I have relinquished my own personal stake in the matter of my life and instead seek to enrich the quality of living for others... not seeing in this the separation I have generated.
So am I in or out? Words won't mean anything if they are spoken without presence and self honesty... so there are no words here. There will be only physical and proven action that will answer to which side of the fence I will stand at.