Thursday, July 8, 2010

I am "dying well"

dying well.

for me that is becoming clearer and clearer.
i have come to realize that within me having a starting point of self interest within doing my process, i looped myself into a situation where i am not actually self honest, but simply "upgrading" and compounding my self deception, and this loop has come full circle, so to speak.

the words of desteni are SPECIFIC, and the true implications and meaning of the words of the material will deftly escape and elude anyone who is still reading them from the mind, from the ego, from the personality, from ANY point of self dishonesty.

when it is said, STOP THE MIND, the directive is SPECIFIC- it is to literally and specifically STOP THE MIND, not "consider stopping the mind" or "look at who you are within not stopping your mind" or "see for yourself what mind is and learn about stopping it", or "stop your mind when things get difficult or you have a shitty experience or realization of self".

STOP THE MIND is to STOP THE MIND. Period. the actual literal and specific meaning, and the actual literal and specific context of that cannot be any clearer- it is only the MIND and the PERSONALITY/OPINION/ENERGY/CONSCIOUSNESS that befuddles something so absolutely simple and common sense.

there can be no doubt that i am not the contents of my mind. there can be no doubt that actual information is not stored in my "personality/mind", but within and as my physical human body. what is in my "personality/mind" is NOT REAL, and is able to be deleted.

the problem is in accepting and allowing self to participate within the energetic movements of thoughts, pictures, ideas, opinions, silent (inner) words, desires, emotions/feelings, which become accepted patterns/programming of self.

thus, within process, while i can comprehend and understand process and self forgiveness at the intellectual level, and i can write myself and do self forgiveness written and out loud, none of that will actually have any effect if i am not actually participating in the ACTUAL PHYSICAL WORLD.

it is NOT POSSIBLE to do process only "within", as that is deception and dishonesty, and only creating another separate inner world based on energy and personality.

I discovered this while moving myself towards speaking my realizations and sharing my insights with people and doing more vlogs- i found that although i had written and done sf, i had not actually STOOD as the self forgiveness and STOOD as the realization, and could not then actually articulate or share ACTUAL insight- which is not something "inside self", but a realization that is lived and stands the test of time in the physical.

what it implies that i am not able to articulate, share, and demonstrate my insights is that i had been within and as mind/personality within process, using ego in an attempt to "birth life" AS ego. my realizations and insights were existing only within self in a bubble of personality, and NOT actually lived/stored within and as my human physical body.

when the time came for me to physically speak on, share, or demonstrate my "insights", i was at a loss for words- the words were not EQUAL as me, as LIFE as the physical, and only existed within my intellectual "mind" as ego/personality/energy.

thus, equalize self and WALK in the physical Self Forgiveness, Self Honesty, and Self Will/Self Directive Principle, within the principle of oneness and equality and what is best for all.

Stop living/accepting self to be within private bubbles wherein process is "processed" as information for the mind/personality, and actually physically participate within the world and with people, and do not ever accept justifications or reasons that come from thoughts or pictures.

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